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Planning to give my resignation

I'm planning to give my resignation to my boss,
we've got an informal relationship at work,
he's a nice guy but shout a bit too much (I'm not a kid and I dont like to be shouted at!)

Now I've got 4 job offers, all of them are around 20 to 36% more than my current salary.

This year they gave me 3% pay rise (a joke!)
after 2 years of hard work(most of my projects have been recognized as successes)

Is it ok to say that I'm leaving coz I'm too much pressurize for the sort of money I'm currently on, and that all the job offers I've got are way above my current package (I am obviously under paid)

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

I wouldn't say "pressure in general" (you're supposed to be able to work under pressure, e.g. meet deadlines) but I might say "shouting specifically".

What might be "not ok" about telling the truth as you see it?

The only possible disadvantages that I can think of include: not getting a good reference from your boss; not being rehired by the same company.

When you resign, you might like to decide in advance what you would reply if they say "Oh, please stay, we'll improve and we'll give you a payrise" (some people warn that if you accept, they will want to fire you later whenever it's convenient for them for you to leave).

Christopher Wells
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Never burn bridges.  Just resigned myself, as a matter of fact.  It went something like "Hi <name of boss>, I've been thinking very long and very hard and its not like there is anything wrong with <name of company>, it's just that I want to move on.  They say a change is as good as a holiday and all that".  And by keeping in amiable and *not* saying what I really think about stuff, I'm still in touch with them.  They'd hire me back, I am pretty sure.  Feels more secure going forward at least.

i like i
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Listen to both of these comments -
Don't take counteroffers.  Counteroffers will last 3-6 months depending on how quickly they can find a reason to go back on whatever they promised.

But don't burn bridges.  Even though you may not want to work for them again, you might want to work WITH them at some point - and it doesn't hurt to have at least a civil line open to them if later you need some subcontract work or a reference for your past projects.  It may be tough not to call in multiple napalm strikes on them as you're leaving, but it will only give you a warm glow for about a half hour and it'll be a resource you won't have going forward.  If you're leaving, it's not your responsibility to try to better the company any more. 

Oh, and always leave with the resumes of as many good people as they still have - if they're not treating you right, then they're probably not treating other people right.  And recruiters call those kinds of companies "Hire from" companies.

Unfocused Focused
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Definitely don't burn any bridges.  I moved to Boston last year, spent 4 months at a place working too many hours for too little money (vs. cost of living) and I went back to my old job in Buffalo.  Without having a good relationship with my old boss, and leaving on good terms, I'd still be in Boston - chained to my desk ;-)

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Give constructive criticism - there's always a one-in-a-million chance they may take the criticism to heart and address the issues, which helps those left behind.

And never accept counteroffers. Admit it - it's not just the money. It's almost never the money. The money just makes it easier to leave.

They know that, so they know the money will only rent you back, not buy you. If they have half a brain, the next person they ask you to train will be your replacement.


Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Forget all those reasoned suggestions. I say, go in guns blazing. Tell the boss all sorts of home truths, make up some criticisms if you have too, maybe accuse him of not only being incompetent but of poor hygiene too. Have a big slanging match, let the security people throw you out. Might not be best for your future career options, but both you and your (ex-)boss will have great stories to tell afterwards.

Herr Herr
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

With the 'benefit' of personal experience, I would like to second Philo on that one.

DodgyAccountant (UK)

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

You can give constructive criticism if you like, they won't take any notice of it though.

You have no obligations to explain why you're leaving, only when.

Simon Lucy
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

The best advice I've read, is to give no reason.  You don't owe them a reason, and this way you don't have to worry about saying something you might regret in the future.  Short and to the point is best.


Dear PHB,

  Next Friday, February 29th, will be my last day working for ACME, Inc.  After this date, I can be contacted at [address HR has on file / new address if moving].

  <Insert John Hancock here>

P.S.  See you later suckers!!!!!!!  (oops, did I type that out loud?)

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

I agree with not giving a reason in the resignation letter. It isn't helpful and can just make things worse if things are uncomfortable.

Much better to go with the suggestions along the lines of "thanks for such a great opportunity..., go to move on..., etc".

Apart from anything else, burning bridges makes your co-workers think you're an idiot. Let's face it, some managers will blame you however you leave, but it is useful to leave on good terms with your colleagues.

I had a good example of that a while ago. I left one client and could have created quite a storm, but I went quietly to a nice new client that I have (conveniently) lined up. Within a couple weeks, and after a few phone calls, several of my old team were part of my new team. That helped a lot, as I already knew I could trust them to do the work and I knew exactly what their strengths were. I was acting as team-lead in both cases.

BTW, I made no effort to "recruit" these guys. They contacted me. At first I was suprised, but then it happened again and again. Convenient really, as I hate giving interviews almost as much as I hate doing them.

Steve Jones (UK)
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

I don't fully agree with the no counter offer
comments. If you are leaving because of money
then if the money gets better then you can stay now
and always leave later. If you aren't happy with
the place then leave anyway.

We have extended counter offers many times
because we genuinely like the people and
want them to stay. There's no firing them
6 months later or anything. 

son of parnas
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

I agree with Philo --
When you make the decision to leave, you should just leave.  If you're going to accept a counteroffer, that's saying "maybe it's not so bad after all", which is the opposite attitude of what made you decide to leave.

When you do decide to leave, do as Madking suggests -- a short, to the point, letter.  If they want a reason, just say "to pursue other opportunities".

In the US, it's customary to give 2 weeks notice.  The employer isn't required to accept it (they can kick you out on the spot), but most appreciate the use of that time to train a replacement.

If your former employer calls you back with questions, you'll have to decide whether to help them out or not -- ("burning bridges" comes into this).  My rule of thumb has been that if I can answer it in 30 minutes or less, it's free.  Otherwise, they pay the going rate for consultants in my area.

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Unless you really are just leaving for the money - in which case the counter-offer by the company you like working for might be just what you want!

Of course, then it would probably be better to go with the "Hi boss, I really love working here but...." approach :-)

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

"When you do decide to leave, do as Madking suggests -- a short, to the point, letter."

I second (or third) this... If a resignation letter contains more than two sentences, it's too long. I would advise against giving feedback with the resignation. No matter how "constructive" the criticism, it is likely to be seen as a parting shot. And that may damage the bridge, even if it doesn't burn it.

The only time I've said anything negative on a departure was when a manager insisted on giving me a review before I left. This was a Big Six consulting firm (back when there were still 6). He gave me some negative feedback, so I returned the favor.

Rob VH
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

People that insist on reviews and exit interviews I think I would place in the subset of humanity subtitled 'Ignore completely'.

I'd have far more interesting things to do.

Simon Lucy
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

" If you are leaving because of money
then if the money gets better then you can stay now
and always leave later"

However, the attractive job offers may not be around then.

Also, it's easier to get a job when you've already got one, compared to getting one after being fired.

Bottom line: if they're only giving you a raise because they HAVE to the you have to wonder how genuine the offer is.  As a software company owner, I fully realize that companies pay their employees as little as they have to. But, if I really value an employee I'm going to pay him more than what he's worth to me.

Mr. Analogy
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Be polite, don't burn bridges.  Give short, honest answers to any questions they ask. 

I wouldn't bring up the shouting thing, but I would find that intolerable if it happened very often.  If they really seem to want to know all your reasons then you could say something like "Well, I personally don't work as well as I might in an enviroment where people shout at each other in the workplace."  Short, honest, unemotional.

Only you know how much of  raise would make putting up with the shouting tolerable.

Your insecure boss isn't going to change.  There is a good chance that he'll either become worse or stab you in the back at the first chance down the road if you take a counteroffer.   

Jim Howard
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

I had serious jitters resigning from my first job.

Firstly, make sure you are clear with what you are going to do.  Have you accepted another offer? Are you DEAD SURE you want to leave? If so, it becomes a lot easier to do the deed.

Here's what I told myself:

* It's a Decision, not a Discussion
* I'm quitting, but I'm keeping my big yap shut

Word it in a way that removes doubt of your actions and "politely but firmly" closes the counteroffer door, i.e.:

"I'm resigning my position as #### and have accepted another offer at a new company.  Thank you for the opportunity blah blah"

It's that first sentence that matters: just say, "I resign and I have another job"

Odds are they will call you for some impromptu support.  Give it to them (within reason, of course).    This has 2 nice side effects - it gives you a chance to keep the contact alive - and it also is a situation where you look really good by doing very little.

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

>Bottom line: if they're only giving you a raise
>because they HAVE to the you have to wonder
>how genuine the offer is. 

An offer is never genuine so i wouldn't worry about
that as long as you are getting paid.

son of parnas
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Negotiate man.

You have the leverage. Use it!

Magnolia on Bleeker St.
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

I second Herr Herr.  Have a slanging match, just so you can come back and tell us all the story.

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

You should make it graceful, thank the company for the opportunities it provided for you.  Chances are, you did have some fun while you were there.
Make it less confrontational, after all, you are leaving, you should be happy.

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Present it to your boss as you getting a great opportunity. Makes you look good. Avoids hurting his feelings. It also puts the two of you on an equal footing.


Dear Boss, I've been offered a great new opportunity at Bricks on the River, which I've accepted. I start on the 20th and I will be finishing here on the 10th so I can have a break.

I've enjoyed working with you and appreciate the guidance and support I've received.

(This might be crap to a certain extent, but it doesn't hurt. You're leaving.)

Must be a Manager
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Never offer criticism even if it is specifically requested.  (Depending on who you're talking to, *especially* if it's requested.)

It's like this: the person doing the criticizing feels better, for a little while.  The person receiving the criticism will remember forever exactly what was said and that person will forever be on their black list.  Even if they recognize that the person was right.  Even if, years later, they no longer do whatever it is they were criticized for and now appreciate having received the criticism.

If you don't like what someone is doing, vent to a trustworthy, uninvolved third party.  Preferably while both are under the influence of alcohol -- you'll feel better, everyone will have a laugh, and no one will remember exactly what was said or who said it.

If you want someone to *not* do something, like yell at you, ask them for what you *do* want.  "Please quiet down."  Put it into a positive request, not a negative condemnation.

Should be working
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Must be a Manager:

Your name should really be "Must NOT be a Manager. "

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

How about doing what they did in either Fight Club or American Beauty?

a)  In a closed room with your boss, beat the crap out of yourself,


b)  Demand a year's severance pay, and when they balk, mention a harrassment suit..."Well, Brad, can you prove that you *didn't*..."

Either way would be great to hear about here.  Let us know how it turns out, k?

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

I left one job because of some pretty poor management practices. However, the thing that really burned me was that because I had helped design and implement the new network, I was the defacto sysadmin on top of my full time billable job.
*And* this was one of those companies that didn't want to see "overhead" hours on time sheets.

I kept pestering my management to hire a full time sysadmin, but every time they did, he got put on a billable project, and I got to keep putting out system fires.

So, when annual eval time came around and I got a whopping 2.5% raise in the middle of the dotcom boom, I was gone three weeks later.

The one piece of advice I gave in my letter was "please hire a full time sysadmin" which they did soon after I left. (Probably because nobody else was stupid enough to volunteer to do it)

That's the kind of advice I'm talking about.


Wednesday, June 2, 2004

"We have extended counter offers many times
because we genuinely like the people and
want them to stay."

Son of Parnas,

If you liked them so much, why not compensate them well to begin with.  I've heard this type of situation happen alot. 

Joe Shmoe programmer is working at PathiTek Co. and he's kicking ass and taking names in the programming dept.  Joe Shmoe asks PHB for a raise for all of the hard work he has been putting in getting impossible projects delivered out the door.  PHB gives sob story about how business is down and how lucky he is to have a job in this economny.  PHB says he'll be lucky to get a 2% raise (meanwhile insurance premiums and income tax shoot up quikly eating up raise).  All the while PHB and cronies give themselves a nice hefty raise. 

Joe Shmoe starts looking for new job and finds a new job at The New Co. in which  he will get a 25% pay increase.  Joe Shmoe tells PHB "Thank you for the opportunity at  PathiTek Co., but I feel it's time to move on."  All of sudden, PHB is panicked and turns around and offers to match the raise.  The ironic thing is that Joe Shmoe would've settled earlier for a 12% raise.  Joe Shmoe says, "Thanks, but no thanks".
Now PHB is in a scurry, because he reallzes that the economy is picking up and all of the good talent will start to leave.  The warm chair attrition has finally came home to roost.

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

"If you liked them so much, why not compensate them well to begin with.  I've heard this type of situation happen alot. "

Exactly.  Most of the time, the employee who has obtained a good offer won't even give their boss a chance to make a counteroffer. They'll just leave. So if you wait until people have found other jobs before you pay them well, you'll lose a lot of good people.

Friday, June 4, 2004

Just drop everything and say " I Quit ". Leave your reasons in the answering machine.


Ramon Aparece
Wednesday, June 23, 2004

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