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Self Defence This is sort of a spin-off from a slashdot thread that appeared yesterday. So...
Spike Jonze
Don't wash. Don't cut your hair. Don't change your clothes for weeks at a time.
i like i
No, I just look more of a target to the police, who'll then find my +2500$ of equipment and think it was stolen.
Spike Jonze
I've long hair, a beard you could hide a badger in and usually look grumpy. Strangely I've never had any trouble.
a cynic writes...
I'm a black belt in every form of self defense ever known to man. I wear multiple layers of kevlar. I am impenetrable. I am a walking fortress. I carry two automatic weapons whereever I go. I bench press 600 pounds and squat 10 tons. I am unstoppable. I drink Mega-Gain weight gainer like it was going out of style. I weigh 150 pounds and am agile as a ... snake. They call me Bond, James Bond. I have every weapon known to man in the pen in my pocket. I drive a remote control car and have survived being shot through the heart now your too late. You simply will not find me at your local supermarket in the frozen food section.
Anon
Get yourself a handgun , if someone tries to steal your stuff , blow his head off.
Mohammad Atif
Not legal in my country to carry handguns. And I've killed someone before and I still dream about it.
Spike Jonze
"Crime is a problem when you carry +2500$ worth of equipment with you."
Dennis Forbes
hire a bodyguard and/or learn karate
Who did you kill and why?
dssdf
If he told he'd have to kill you too.
5v3n
Plain old car accident. No PTSD, sometimes I just think of the guy.
Spike Jonze
Watch Steven Seagal movies and copy the way he walks - shoulders back and head held high. When you stop to cross a street, clasp your hands together - again just like Mr. Seagal.
John C
Strut like a rooster and talk to imaginary friends. Nobody will screw with you.
hoser
I've found being 6'4" and 250lbs and too stupid to worry about it to be a big help...
Philo
Hey Philo, how effective is the hand-to-hand combat training you receive in the armed forces? Can you really disarm someone with your bare hands?
RP
Pfft... Philo was in da Navy... Da Navy don't do nuttun... cept sit on da ships and make funny noises.
Anon
It allows you to take more punishment before folding for good.
RP
Get a good insurance, theft mark your stuff and give a potential robber your stuff. If he has gun the risk is simply too high even though you're darn good at self defence. As long as the drug addict just wants your goods it's not a big deal - loosing the life is.
Peter Monsson
Ever notice the guy with junky car never has a alarm or even lock the doors? So on that line, just carry around technology no one wants and is hopelessly obsolete. Cell phone: get one of those big old clunky things from the 80's. IPod/PDA: A Newton, just as good! Laptop: Anything with a passive matrix screen should do the trick with OS/2 installed.
Bill Rushmore
Where I come from junkies don't know the difference between OS/2 and Win2K3.
Spike Jonze
"I've found being 6'4" and 250lbs..."
asdf
"just carry around technology no one wants and is hopelessly obsolete."
anon
And the friends he kept?
_
I said I knew him...never said he was a friend. :)
anon
I wish I could draw because there is some comic gold on here lately (often unintentionally).
Dennis Forbes
why dont u get one of them suicide belts , i heard they are quite good in warding away theives
Mohammad Atif
I can get u one for a discount ;)
Mohammad Atif
Get yourself a utility belt with some wonderful toys or a power ring.
The Comic-Bookstore Guy
Get one of these:
Chris Tavares
This is the best JoS thread ever... Joel, why not provide a board to archive these gems? :)
Neat Chi
---"Drank the nastiest beer, figuring nobody would try to take his beer. Likewise for the cigarettes he smoked."------
Stephen Jones
To hijack this thread, how are things in Saudi Arabia Mr. Jones?
Dennis Forbes
"I've found fat people aren't intimidating. "
Wisea**
Too bad you live somewhere you can't carry a gun, Spike, or you could buy some Thunderwear ( http://www.thunderwear.com ) and tell us how it feels to pack heat inside your pants ;-)
John C.
To prevent theft, I like to wear an oversize pair of boxers, and stuff all my electronic gadgets in my underwear. I duct tape the leg openings around my legs so nothing can fall out. Works great and no one can tell you're carrying anything.
scaredy pants
Regarding buses, I had a friend who walked off the bus and had a strnager follow her. She'd just bought an expensive laptop and was carrying the box containing the laptop with a handle. The man confronted her and took her laptop. She yelled for help but no one did. Sad day for humanity. (Yeah, not exactly the smartest thing either)
Li-fan Chen
I did some self defence stuff a while back, and they gave me two tips which seemed the most sensible:
Chris
Where are guys from anyway? Defence? Is that like Da Fence?
Anon
Spike, maybe one of these would be legal where you live?
as
"If you're in a situation where you need help, don't call for help, or even scream rape. "Fire" gets a lot more attention."
Dennis Forbes
It helps not to have a shiny new tote bag (gee, is that a laptop bag?). I would visit the nearest college campus and buy the scruffiest backpack you can find off one of the students. Then put one of the anti-shock laptop sleeves inside it. Who would believe that a 15" UXGA laptop is inside a ragged backpack?
Where the fuck do you guys live?
_
Spike Jonze where are you from ?
Mohammad Atif
"What do you do to prevent robberies?"
NoName
> You might want to switch off the vibrate mode on your beeper and cell phone
I'm reminded of that scene in Snatch:
Defence was the way we all spelled it until around 1904 when some American 'scientist' thought it was too hard for american children to spell.
Simon Lucy
Simon, how old are you ? :-)
Ricardo Antunes da Costa
He was old in 1904.
I'm his Dad.
Simon was the scientist.
RP
Stupid Americans have fucked up our beautiful language.
Simon,brother,I am with you
Some reptiles have the ability to drop their tale. If a predator hunts them, they drop the tail, and the predator stops chasing them, just sniffing the tail.
Martin A. Bøgelund
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