Self Defence

This is sort of a spin-off from a slashdot thread that appeared yesterday. So...
As a geek I carry a lot of expensive stuff everyday with myself. iPod, cellphone, PDA and sometimes a laptop. Crime is a problem when you carry +2500$ worth of equipment with you.

What do you do to prevent robberies?

Spike Jonze
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Don't wash.  Don't cut your hair.  Don't change your clothes for weeks at a time.

Look like less of a target that way see..

i like i
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

No, I just look more of a target to the police, who'll then find my +2500$ of equipment and think it was stolen.

Spike Jonze
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

I've long hair, a beard you could hide a badger in and usually look grumpy.  Strangely I've never had any trouble.

a cynic writes...
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

I'm a black belt in every form of self defense ever known to man.  I wear multiple layers of kevlar.  I am impenetrable.  I am a walking fortress.  I carry two automatic weapons whereever I go.  I bench press 600 pounds and squat 10 tons.  I am unstoppable.  I drink Mega-Gain weight gainer like it was going out of style.  I weigh 150 pounds and am agile as a ... snake.  They call me Bond, James Bond.  I have every weapon known to man in the pen in my pocket.  I drive a remote control car and have survived being shot through the heart now your too late.  You simply will not find me at your local supermarket in the frozen food section.

...Why do you need all that junk anyway?  Besides a cell phone, I consider most of it useless, to me at least.

Anon
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Get yourself a handgun , if someone tries to steal your stuff , blow his head off.

Mohammad Atif
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Not legal in my country to carry handguns. And I've killed someone before and I still dream about it.

Spike Jonze
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

"Crime is a problem when you carry +2500$ worth of equipment with you."

Crime is a problem when you are _obviously_ carrying $2500+ worth of equipment in unsafe environments - most criminals are opportunists, and only bother smashing the car window or accosting the guy if there is an obvious windfall in it (and electronics are pretty much as good as cash. I'm sure Ebay has dramatically increased the liquidity of stolen goods for the low level thief, btw). So the easiest risk reduction would be reducing the broadcasting of what you have, at least when in unsafe environments -- not using that snazzy new laptop on the Industrial Wasteland Express bus, or proudly flaunting that new ipod for everyone to see (just as it's not a good idea to flaunt that rolex or a wad of bills in the same sorts of situations).

Dennis Forbes
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

hire a bodyguard and/or learn karate

Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Who did you kill and why?

dssdf
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

If he told he'd have to kill you too.

5v3n
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Plain old car accident. No PTSD, sometimes I just think of the guy.

Spike Jonze
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Watch Steven Seagal movies and copy the way he walks - shoulders back and head held high. When you stop to cross a street, clasp your hands together - again just like Mr. Seagal.

In no time you'll hear criminals walking past you whispering "I'm sure he was my instructor at Fort Bragg" and "he's an expert in counter-terrorism for sure"...

John C
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Strut like a rooster and talk to imaginary friends.  Nobody will screw with you.

hoser
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

I've found being 6'4" and 250lbs and too stupid to worry about it to be a big help...

Philo

Philo
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Hey Philo, how effective is the hand-to-hand combat training you receive in the armed forces? Can you really disarm someone with your bare hands?

RP
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Pfft...  Philo was in da Navy... Da Navy don't do nuttun... cept sit on da ships and make funny noises.

In reality it depends on what branch of the service you are in and what job you had.  If you operated radar on a ship then no.  If you are a navy seal then yes you recieve hand-to-hand combat training.

Being an occiffer than he was I doubt Philo had any more training in hand-to-hand to combat than the ants on my back door.

BTW Philo -  Size means nothing when you aren't expecting an attack.

Anon
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

It allows you to take more punishment before folding for good.

RP
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Get a good insurance, theft mark your stuff and give a potential robber your stuff. If he has gun the risk is simply too high even though you're darn good at self defence. As long as the drug addict just wants your goods it's not a big deal - loosing the life is.

Training self defence is a good thing if your health condition is poor and/or if you live in a place where your life in general is at risk.

Peter Monsson
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Ever notice the guy with junky car never has a alarm or even lock the doors?  So on that line, just carry around technology no one wants and is hopelessly obsolete.  Cell phone: get one of those big old clunky things from the 80's.  IPod/PDA: A Newton, just as good!  Laptop: Anything with a passive matrix screen should do the trick with OS/2 installed.     

Bill Rushmore
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Where I come from junkies don't know the difference between OS/2 and Win2K3.

Spike Jonze
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

"I've found being 6'4" and 250lbs..."

I've found fat people aren't intimidating.

asdf
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

"just carry around technology no one wants and is hopelessly obsolete."

I knew a guy who actually did that.  Drank the nastiest beer, figuring nobody would try to take his beer.  Likewise for the cigarettes he smoked.  And the women he dated...

anon
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

And the friends he kept?

_
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

I said I knew him...never said he was a friend.  :)

anon
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

I wish I could draw because there is some comic gold on here lately (often unintentionally).

Dennis Forbes
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

why dont u get one of them suicide belts , i heard they are quite good in warding away theives

Mohammad Atif
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

I can get u one for a discount ;)

Mohammad Atif
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Get yourself a utility belt with some wonderful toys or a power ring.

The Comic-Bookstore Guy
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Get one of these:

http://www.scottevest.com

(No affiliation, just a satisfied customer)

Lets you carry around a bunch of gadgets without looking like you are. Depending on what you've got the weight may be a bit of a problem, though. :-)

-Chris, always looking to solve a problem by adding another gizmo.

Chris Tavares
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

This is the best JoS thread ever... Joel, why not provide a board to archive these gems? :)

Neat Chi
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

---"Drank the nastiest beer, figuring nobody would try to take his beer.  Likewise for the cigarettes he smoked."------

You don't actually have to smoke the nastiest cigarettes. Just keep the packet and put whatever you do smoke inside.

Stephen Jones
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

To hijack this thread, how are things in Saudi Arabia Mr. Jones?

I've oft wondered - are you externally identifiable as a "white Western guy"? (I have no idea if you are, really, except that your name implies that)

Dennis Forbes
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

"I've found fat people aren't intimidating. "

Well, you should...they might try to sit on you.

Wisea**
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Too bad you live somewhere you can't carry a gun, Spike, or you could buy some Thunderwear ( http://www.thunderwear.com ) and tell us how it feels to pack heat inside your pants ;-)

Seriously, though, I think the best you can do is to avoid getting into situations where you're at high risk (be aware of your surroundings, don't walk through dark alleys alone, act with a purpose, those basic urban-survival techniques), and have insurance that will take care of some of the replacement cost if you do get hit. Personally I'd be way more worried about the files on my notebook than the notebook itself, which is of course is one reason I back up religiously.

John C.
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

To prevent theft, I like to wear an oversize pair of boxers, and stuff all my electronic gadgets in my underwear. I duct tape the leg openings around my legs so nothing can fall out. Works great and no one can tell you're carrying anything.

You might want to switch off the vibrate mode on your beeper and cell phone.

scaredy pants
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Regarding buses, I had a friend who walked off the bus and had a strnager follow her. She'd just bought an expensive laptop and was carrying the box containing the laptop with a handle. The man confronted her and took her laptop. She yelled for help but no one did. Sad day for humanity. (Yeah, not exactly the smartest thing either)

If I was in the same situation (ex: having really expensive purchases in my hand and don't have a car):

1. Take a taxi.
2. Pepper spray or zap gun for dishonest taxi drivers.

Please, iPod owners, do yourself a favor and ditch the white ear buds.

Li-fan Chen
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

I did some self defence stuff a while back, and they gave me two tips which seemed the most sensible:

1. If someone asks for your wallet/whatever take it out and throw it away from you, preferably behind them.  That way, they have to go get it, which gives you a chance to run away; if they don't go for it, chances are they weren't after it in the first place and you're in a whole different situation (and should probably act accordingly).

2. If you're in a situation where you need help, don't call for help, or even scream rape.  "Fire" gets a lot more attention.

Chris
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Where are guys from anyway?  Defence?  Is that like Da Fence?

DEFENSE!!

Anon
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Spike, maybe one of these would be legal where you live?

http://www.tikaro.com/watergun/

as
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

"If you're in a situation where you need help, don't call for help, or even scream rape.  "Fire" gets a lot more attention."

Relative to this I read, and recommend, a book that Joel pimped a while back - the Psychology of Persuasion. Excellent book that covers that topic.

Dennis Forbes
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

It helps not to have a shiny new tote bag (gee, is that a laptop bag?).  I would visit the nearest college campus and buy the scruffiest backpack you can find off one of the students.  Then put one of the anti-shock laptop sleeves inside it.  Who would believe that a 15" UXGA laptop is inside a ragged backpack?

And ... try not to wear logoed clothes (NBA team logos, Swooshes, etc).  I'm not saying you should shop at Good-will (although I've bought a couple of excellent suits there), you should make an effort to dress non-descript.

Lastly -- A confident stance (aka body language) goes a long way.  Sort of like visual social engineering.  Being somewhat physically fit helps, too.  It allows you to carry yourself better, and doing that helps convince intentional circumventors of statutes (doodle-hums, see Roger Zelazny) that you aren't to be messed with.

Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Where the fuck do you guys live?

_
Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Spike Jonze where are you from ?

This question is important because self defense isn't the smartest thing to do in some places , where a theif wouldnt mind putting a bullet in your head for the least bit of resistance

Mohammad Atif
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

"What do you do to prevent robberies?"

Run.  Few thieves are able or even willing to chase you for more than a very short distance.

NoName
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

> You might want to switch off the vibrate mode on your beeper and cell phone

Then again, you might not...

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

I'm reminded of that scene in Snatch:

"Who is gonna mug two black guys, armed with pistols, sitting in a car that's worth less
than....your shirt?"

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Defence was the way we all spelled it until around 1904 when some American 'scientist' thought it was too hard for american children to spell.

The rest of the world still manages somehow.

Simon Lucy
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Simon, how old are you ? :-)

Ricardo Antunes da Costa
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

He was old in 1904.

I'm his Dad.
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Simon was the scientist.

RP
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Stupid Americans have fucked up our beautiful language.

Simon,brother,I am with you
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Some reptiles have the ability to drop their tale. If a predator hunts them, they drop the tail, and the predator stops chasing them, just sniffing the tail.

So I now this place where they sell some medicine that makes your tail grow. All you then need is a knife to cut off your tail if a robber comes after you.

If you're kinda religious about medicine and tails and knifes, you could also buy a briefcase, and only put an apple and some bread into it, and maybe a baseball bat - Worked for Michael Douglas in "Falling down".

Martin A. Bøgelund
Thursday, June 3, 2004

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