The Old Joel on Software Forum: Part 3 (of 5)

Lightbulbs

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

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1 to change the light bulb

1 to post that the light bulb infact has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

... another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb"is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again

Rickshaw (I rode the shortbus)
Thursday, November 13, 2003

I have in fact just changed a light bulb.

You may now begin.

...a cynic writes
Thursday, November 13, 2003

So you've both changed the lightbulb and posted about it. You're breaking the process outlined above.

Also, I'm an industry professional, and the correct term *is* lamp.

www.MarkTAW.com
Thursday, November 13, 2003

12 posts asking what is FogCreek's process of changing a lightbulb.

shiggins
Thursday, November 13, 2003

> Rickshaw (I rode the shortbus)

Lol

Li-fan Chen
Thursday, November 13, 2003

One to write a ten-page post about his last experience changing lightbulbs and his advice to anyone doing something similar in the future (Bored Bystander).

One to argue that the phrase "the lightbulb is burned out" is a reductionist misinterpretation of reality, and that if properly viewed from an infinite dimensional level, the light bulb is not only perfectly fine, but also sentient. (The Real PC)

One to get fired for changing the light bulb (Philo).

One to criticize the poster for letting the light bulb burn out (Bella).

One to make pithy little comments about the lightbulb (Alyosha`)

Six to fret about overseas outsourcing of light bulb replacers.

Fifteen to blame Microsoft for producing light bulbs that burned out.

Three to complain about how JOS has been taken over slashdot trolls who distract from the real conversation about lightbulbs.

Alyosha`
Thursday, November 13, 2003

Oh, and one to capriciously delete the thread about lightblubs (Joel Spolsky).

Alyosha`
Thursday, November 13, 2003

Don’t talk about lightbulbs.
In my workplace (an office full of accountants) all the men try to prove their manhood by periodically getting out a ladder, and plunging us all into to semi-darkness to change a lightbulb.

My husband is an electrician. I laugh at the guys in the office.

Aussie Chick
Thursday, November 13, 2003

Open source lightbulbs are EVIL. They lower the global need for lightbulbs, so people who make lightbulbs as a profession will be really hurt by the open source lightbulbs!

John K.
Thursday, November 13, 2003

It would hardly be capricious to delete this thread...

jimmy
Thursday, November 13, 2003

34 people to point out that taking old lists that made fun of newsgroups and replacing "newsgroup" with "forum" results in some very strange points.

Crossposting on forums? Headers in forums? Broken URLs in forums?

Alex
Thursday, November 13, 2003

I noticed that too Alex, but didn't want to be one of the:

5 to point out that not only was the post not funny, but largely inappropriate to this forum.

Thankfully I have plenty of time to post ever since my job changing lightbulbs was outsourced to someone in India.

www.MarkTAW.com
Thursday, November 13, 2003

7 to argue that it should have been fluorescent in the first place, thereby delaying the replacement date for several years

2 to argue that light-bulbs are merely a fad and that fire is all you need

6 to comment that one Edison contemporary invented a better light bulb (LED) that is cheaper, brigher, lasts longer, and uses far less electricity but GE's market dominance is due to “better marketing”

MR
Thursday, November 13, 2003

A few more:

1 to make a comparison between lightbulb changing and Hitler's Third Reich
1 to invoke Godwin's Law and claim that the thread is now dead
5 to argue over the validity of Godwin's Law
1 to tell everybody that they should quit complaining about unemployment and outsourcing and start their own lightbulb changing business to achieve financial independence
3 vendors to shamelessly promote their lightbulb changing services
1 to ask how Joel changes his lightbulbs
1 to muse about why Joel hasn't posted an answer to the person who asked him about his lightbulb changing methodology
1 to claim that Chinese hackers are shamelessly stealing his lightbulb-changing intellectual property and posting it on their websites
7 to discuss how one could obfuscate lightbulb-changing IP and/or modify the licensing scheme to thwart lightbulb-changing piracy

Matt Latourette
Thursday, November 13, 2003

Edison was a know-nothing hack. Tesla was the only modern to have invented the only light bulbs worth using. The electric light bulbs that were found in a 2500 yr old Greek shipwreck are a different issue, as is the lightbulb that was found encased in a geode that was dated to be over 18 million years old.

Dennis Atkins
Thursday, November 13, 2003

You know where you are with a candle.

Until it goes out.

Simon Lucy
Friday, November 14, 2003

and open source lightbulbs are just rock solid.
They *never* burn out.

Michael Moser
Friday, November 14, 2003

And 1 to add that this is the best thread ever. The only reason I'm not rolling around laughing is because I need to go and change a lightbulb.

Ha Ha :-)

TES
Friday, November 14, 2003

"1 to muse about why Joel hasn't posted an answer to the person who asked him about his lightbulb changing methodology"

5 to argue whether the it is the Lightbulb changing method, or Lightbulb changing methodology.

Tapiwa
Friday, November 14, 2003

Not to mention religious wars as to whether a screw fitting or bayonet fitting is best.

Simon Lucy
Friday, November 14, 2003

And let's not forget 1 to claim God is holding us all back from changing the lightbulb.

TES
Friday, November 14, 2003

The Chinese are pirating my lightbulbs and I'm raving mad about it!!!

We are currently adding online activation to the bulb screwing process.

Jericho
Friday, November 14, 2003

38 that will argue for certification for light bulb changers, 47 will argue against

11 to point out that light bulb engineering is superior to light bulb changing by light bulb cowboys

13 will insist that light bulb changers working in their own private office have higher productivity (with appropriate references to "light-bulb-ware")

Joe AA
Friday, November 14, 2003

10 patent attorneys to argue for about a decade on whether Swan or Edison invented the damn thing first.

A cynic writes
Friday, November 14, 2003

I thought the bloke that runs Amazon patented that.

Like everything else
Friday, November 14, 2003

No - but edison was his forebear

http://www.lightfan.co.uk/lightinf04.htm

A cynic writes
Friday, November 14, 2003

1. Change lightbulb
2. ????
3. Profit!

squidbob
Friday, November 14, 2003

What music do you listen too when changing light bulbs?

Bill
Friday, November 14, 2003