Fog Creek Software
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Coworkers who won't go away

The woman newly assigned to the cube next to me, who worried that when she was given the tour, and I had the lights off, that she would not be ALLOWED to turn the lights ON, and, without a word to me, such as perhaps ´may I turn on the lights?´, went about asking everyone in the office what sort of freaky pervert I am that I sit around in the "dark" (in the glow of natural sunlight STREAMING in through the window next to me), is now on the phone, on a pesonal call. She has BEEN on a personal call for approximately 3.68 hours, during which time I can only imagine that the person on the other end is whittling AN ENTIRE HOUSE FROM A VERY LARGE TREE while she carries on and on and on and on very very LOUDLY without stopping, not even to INHALE.

Yes, she was terrified that with the lights off, and my troll-like aggression by which I would continually turn the lights BACK off if ever she flipped them on, and now she´s busy running her own knitting circle from the comfort of her cube. The only way this could be any worse would be if she had speaker phone, because I have NO DOUBT that she´d use it.

Then there's the new guy on the other side of knitting, Nyctohylophobic woman.  This guy I have dubbed Leech Man.  All that one must do to inflict the wrath of Leech Man is to say "Good Morning" on one's way past his cube.  Leech Man will then stand up, no matter what he's doing, even if he was ON THE PHONE, and follow you back to your cube, relating the gory details of whatever it was he was doing the night prior, and I mean WHATEVER.  Subtle hints such as "Ok well I sure have got a lot of work to get to now." and "Go the hell away you genetic mutant!" do not phase Leech Man, he only talks and talks and talks until one of my other, sane coworkers takes pity on you and calls you on the phone, giving you an escape.  For whatever reason, even though completely ignoring Leech Man fails to make him GO AWAY, some inborn instinct of courtesy buried deep within his rotten marrow makes him vamoose if you ignore him WHILE ON THE PHONE.

How do the rest of you programmers DEAL with non technical coworkers who CANNOT understand that you're THINKING, here?

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Put on headphones.

newToOSS
Monday, August 16, 2004

But then I can't hear the boss coming.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

It's called life. You sometimes have to deal with stuff that doesn't go your way.

Some day, god willing, you will learn of a thing called "humility".  It is an important part of what our culture describes as "manhood".  Watch for it.

Sassy
Monday, August 16, 2004

Ah.  Real men don't ever try to rant humorously about the goings on in their workplace.  Rather they should behave like the grey drones which surround them.

I'll try to remember that on my way past puberty, Sassy.  Thank you for your stirring commentary.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Yeah, Sassy, really.

You expect one to learn 'humility' from these freaks?

Alex
Monday, August 16, 2004

one rant: humourous.
ten rants: whining.

Sassy
Monday, August 16, 2004

So you're concerned what other people think about you, or just that they're annoying?  Everyone's annoying to someone.  Get busy, ignore them and complain to management just once, but forcefully.  Problem will be solved.  Of course, I am certain that you're leaving out something -- like your response to them, your attitude around the office, etc.

devinmoore.com
Monday, August 16, 2004

* flipped them on, she'd never get any work done, and now she´s busy *

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

I really don't have a bad attitude in my office, hard as that may be for people here to accept.  I get along with my coworkers, and honestly, they're the best team I have ever worked with.

Until a recent re-org brought in the above mentioned freaks.  I do my best to politely ignore them.  In the case of phone-woman, this is merely a matter of quiet tolerance.  In the case of Leech Man, it's a case of harrassment.  And I have spoken to management about him.  Very politely, briefly, and without mentioning it a second time.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Sassy -

Please find ten rants I've made on this forum.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

And us trolls don't have a thing called life, you ought to know that.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Oh good, my foaming sycophant is back.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

"Can't we all just get along?!"

Please, people. For the children.

Rodney
Monday, August 16, 2004

muppet - there are people like that at every workplace.  It stinks, but your best bet is to be straight and polite.

In the case of Leech Man, try this - it always worked for me:

1) Look your co-worker directly in the eye.
2) Smile.
3) Say "It's been good talking to you, but I have to get back to work right now."
4) Get back to work.

If you can, you're even better off preventing Leech Man from latching on in the first place.  If he comes over to your desk, just smile, cut him off mid-sentence, and tell him "I've got a few tasks that are 9s and 10s on the importance scale.  Can we talk later?"  It might take a few tries, but he'll go away.

In the case of Loud-Voice-On-The-Phone-For-Three-Hours Lady:

1) Look her directly in the eye.
2) Smile.
3) Say "Could you please lower your voice a bit?  Thanks."

Always remember to smile and be polite, but firm.  No passive-aggressive behavior.  No unwillingness to meet their eyes.  No geek-style Avoident Personality Disorder-type behavior.  be straight-up about the fact that you are working, and be pleasant, and you'll get results.

www.ChristopherHawkins.com
Monday, August 16, 2004

Dude, why don't you ask her out, get laid and lighten up a little bit.

Sheesh.

Anon
Monday, August 16, 2004

I remember muppet soapboxing furiously about how he is so honest and that being polite when you don't really want to is some kind of cardinal sin.  Yet, when examining his pattern on this forum, he appears to be quite hypocritical.  He rants about how his co-workers are idiots, management are idiots.... yet, management somehow loves him.  How does management think you are so great if you are always so honest that you tell them to their faces that they are idiots?  Oh wait, you don't.  You *lie* to them don't you?  In your own book doesn't that make you a phony just like all of us?

Didn't you say you *pad* your resume because that's just what you have to do to compete?  How is that so different than being courteous and polite because that is also what you have to do to compete (a.k.a. get along with people which improves networking, which helps you compete much more than a nice resume)?

You chastise people on this forum for being bothered by people who disagree with them, but now you are ranting about people at work who do things differently than you.  She likes the lights on, you don't.  She wastes *company time* on annoying personal calls, you waste *company time* replying to almost every thread on JoS within minutes of their posting (seconds if the comment is directed at you).  News flash, this co-worker is not worse than you, just different.

Sure, lots of people post rants for amusement and venting on here, and thats fine.  But you just aren't going to get the same leeway and acceptance, because you insist on being a supreme a$$hole (er, I mean straightforward pillar of integrity).

Nelson Muntz
Monday, August 16, 2004

Chris - all good advice.  Stuff I know, but you're right about the Geek Avoidance factor.  I don't like dealing with people who make me uncomfortable, and so I don't.  You're absolutely right.

As for the comment about getting laid.  Mister, you've got no idea what sort of tail I've gotten in my short life.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

P.S.  Apologies for spamminess, but I just wrote about this sort of thing:

http://www.christopherhawkins.com/07-15-2004.htm

I probably shouldn't have used the word 'Rudeness' in the title, as it gives the wrong idea.  However, some people believe that your rude if you do not accommodate their every interruption. 

I am not one of those people.

www.ChristopherHawkins.com
Monday, August 16, 2004

To Leech man: Ask him nicely if he knows whether "Leprosy is contagious"

To Yak Woman: When she is on the phone go to her boss and tell him/her that she asked to be contacted on the phone urgently

Code Monkey
Monday, August 16, 2004

+++I remember muppet soapboxing furiously about how he is so honest and that being polite when you don't really want to is some kind of cardinal sin.  Yet, when examining his pattern on this forum, he appears to be quite hypocritical.  He rants about how his co-workers are idiots, management are idiots.... yet, management somehow loves him.  How does management think you are so great if you are always so honest that you tell them to their faces that they are idiots?  Oh wait, you don't.  You *lie* to them don't you?  In your own book doesn't that make you a phony just like all of us?
+++

My comments, silly boy, were regarding the behavior of people on forums who somehow (mistakenly) believe that they MUST, at all costs, perpetuate their Real World politeness in their internet existances.  It's sad when people can't seperate their professional defensive shells from their actual personality, and that's what I was (and have always been) commenting on.  I'm sorry that you failed to grasp that.

In the case of my (original) team, there's no need to be insincerely polite to any of them.  They're all great.  I've never claimed that my coworkers are idiots.  Management, yes.  But the person who tells the guy feeding his family to his face that he is a moron is suicidal.  I've never advocated that.

There's really nothing else of substance in your post to rebutt, so I'll leave it at that.


See?  There's no need for muppet impersonators.  Folks get plenty riled up with the things I ACTUALLY post.  No need for profanity, obscenity, or insults when folks get so worked up over simple opinions.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

I put on some music to drown out the other office noise, or if it's really bad I close the door. I have my own office, thankfully.

sid
Monday, August 16, 2004

You guys are amazing.  Truly you are.  The reaction to this thread couldn't be more characteristic of the culture on this forum.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004


I'll bet leechman and talkie are blogging about muppet right now.  What do you suppose they call muppet?

Seen your frog
Monday, August 16, 2004

Sorta offtopic: As one voice of many, I really don't understand the muppet-lynching that's been going on in these parts as of late (though I wonder if it's one person on a mission, or a mob of people). While he is a rather, err, outspoken and self-assured, apparently very angry individual (I picture red-faced, early heart attack super type-A), I definitely appreciate his posts. Personally I find reading his post here rather humorous, not only for the literal text but for the possible subtext (i.e. leech guy thinks it's hilarious bothering that muppet guy, so every chance he gets he tries to cause muppet discomfort, relaying to his buddies how this time he told muppet about his bowel movements, etc).

Dennis Forbes
Monday, August 16, 2004

I agree with you Dennis, I like the Muppet posts too, and I think the name hijack thing is kinda silly.  That being said, there is still nothing better than trolling a troll, and any muppet thread is always going to be qan open invitation to this sort of thing.  Really, that has to be his intention.

It's the law of the schoolyard, applied to messageboards. There must be some Sociology PhD reading this and having his Eureka moment by now.

Sassy
Monday, August 16, 2004

Both leech guy and lady who talks too much are just lonely at work.  Get those two together, away from your cube, and the problem is solved!

anonymous financial IT guy
Monday, August 16, 2004

Muppet, the solution is simple.  Tell leechman that "Talks without breathing" woman really likes him.  Once they are hooked up - no more worries...

Chris Peacock
Monday, August 16, 2004

Hey Peacock, why don't you read the other replies before posting?

anonymous financial IT guy
Monday, August 16, 2004

No, Leech Man is Leech Man with everyone else, too, so he's not just tormenting me.  I've known all of my original co-workers far longer than him and get along quite well with all but one of them, so there's little chance of conspiracy.

As for whether I am one guy or many guys with some sort of "mission".  I'm one guy, though I seem to have several "imitators" who are trying to drive me off by besmirching my reputation (which in and of itself is hilarious).

No, it's not my intention to draw all the fire and brimstone that I get from the folks here, only to state my opinions, which I think are unique enough to warrant stating.  Actually, I find the venomous response I often get to be quite humorous, but honestly, I'm not going out of my way to provoke it.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004



I worked with a woman like this... yammering all the time.

Of course, she was a hot blond, so I gave her some slack.


Of course, my current office mate does this, but he's a moron and a "he", so there's no slack.

KC
Monday, August 16, 2004

One place I worked had a talker like that. Once she started it was damned near impossible to shut her up and get rid of her. We had a special function key program set up among several of the guys in the group. It was the emergency phone call key.

You only had to surrepticiously touch it and it would automatically send an alert to all the others in the group. One of them would make the call so you could pretend it was an important business call so she'd walk away. Of course, then all the other guys would know that the talker was going to prowl for another victim, so we would all make ourselves scarce for the next few minutes until she passed out of the area.

It worked so well, that one time we were kind of ticked off at one guy in the group for some breach of protocol and when he hit the emergency FKey, we not only didn't rescue him we all passed by his cube to let him know this was his penance.

old_timer
Monday, August 16, 2004

I covered this already

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail37.html

Strong Bad
Monday, August 16, 2004

Muppet, you're probably a decent guy in real life and relatively cool to know and interact with.  Having said that, Nelson's post obviously indicates that *some* members of this forum, and I'd wager most who've interacted with you, have taken the impression that you consistently manifest character traits that are annoying, offensive or both.  The incongruity cited by Nelson is one example.  Whether these assumptions about you are true or not, *something* has given us those impresssions, and logically, that something has to be you.  There's an old saying that goes, "when everyone else says you're drunk, sit down."

When I first started using Slashdot, I made an ass out of myself on there all the time, because I saw it as an opportunity to show how much smarter I was than other posters.  Moreover, I was obviously encouraged by the semi-anonymous environment -- I could manifest parts of my ego that I had the good sense to muzzle among off-line society (good sense that you have shown as well, which is basically what Nelson was saying).  Well I got spanked enough times by people who *were* smarter than I was, and I learned a bit of humility.  There is always someone smarter than I am, even on subjects about which I consider myself an expert (there's a scary thought).  So I got a new handle and changed my attitude.  I learned a lot more, and got embarrassed a lot less.

OffMyMeds
Monday, August 16, 2004

OffMyMeds -

Thank you for your thoroughly condescending post.  I'm not looking to be loved on the internet.  The internet is not real life.  The internet is where it's OK to be frank and honest with people.  This is something that is lost on far too many folks.  Usenet, IRC, HTTP, these things were all far, FAR better before the September That Never Ended.  Folks need to realize that their egos are not sacred.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

<quote>
... to state my opinions, which I think are unique enough to warrant stating...
</quote>

True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.
- Socrates

The first step to knowledge is to know that we are ignorant.
- Cecil

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
- Confucius

We live on an island surrounded by a sea of ignorance. As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance.
- John A. Wheeler

People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little.
- Jean Jacques Rousseau

'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
- Samuel Johnson

Quotey
Monday, August 16, 2004

Quotey -

and?

Of course I know that I've always got something to learn.  That doesn't preclude my having observations.  It certainly doesn't seem to hamper anyone else on this board.  Do you have any ORIGINAL thoughts?  Well the rest of us do.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Remind us again. What were the oh-so-original thoughts in the scintillating initial post?

KFC
Monday, August 16, 2004

I never said there were any in this specific post.  Still, it seems to me that this OP was a great deal less pretentious and arrogant than spouting a bunch of quotes about how ignorant everybody is, to stroke the anonymous poster's ego.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

I never have a problem with co-workers that won't go away.

Thelonious P. Leech
Monday, August 16, 2004

"The internet is where it's OK to be frank and honest with people."

Sorry to disappoint you, but real life is also a place where it's OK to be frank and honest with people.  You can even choose to be brash, cocky, crass, craven, annoying, immature or any and all of those.  You can choose any course you want on-line and off.  Choose to act like an ass on-line, and people on-line will perceive you as one, that's all -- same as off-line.  That's been the case since the early days of USENET.  Choose to be constructive and helpful on-line, and on-line communities will perceive you as such.  There are no points for proving that you're not afraid to rock the boat, just because the venue is a virtual one.  Of course it's not real life, and you don't care how you are perceived by on-line communities -- that's FINE, but you can't argue the fact that the perception *is* formed.  Of course it's foolish to worry about on-line relationships as much as off-line, but some of us do learn and benefit from interacting in a constructructive way with communities like JoS, so we apply a few of the same rules for constructive interaction that apply in the off-line world, that's all.

I can't believe I'm bothering...

OffMyMeds
Monday, August 16, 2004

I can't believe that you are, either.  I don't see how I'm disrupting this apparently very fragile community, and preventing you or your peers from benefitting each other in an academic manner.  Care to explain exactly why my single voice is so disruptive to you?  That's the nonsense I'm addressing.  I cannot singlehandedly "ruin" this or any forum.  It's the overreaction of the community which may do that.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Dude, there's no ego stroking going on.  Other than your own.  YOU are the one constantly posting (how do you get any work done at all?), and being condescending to everyone you address.  The most civility I've seen you express is equivalent to "you have been judged worthy of a reply where I don't insult you".  Your supposed separation of internet and real life is a joke, and a very poor backpedal as well.  In a previous thread, you got pretty serious about calling people on being phony.  You never clarified at that time that you were talking about real life vs. internet.  In fact, you implied rather heavily that other posters' expectation with internet politeness was connected to the world of phonies you see in the corporate real world every day.

Make no mistake, the people expressing their enjoyment of your posting are NOT saying you have insightful wisdom, a breath of fresh air, or acknoledging your debate skills or knowledge.  Rather many of us enjoy your posts in sort of a morbid fascination.  Like watching a B-movie that is so bad that you just have to keep watching to see just how bad it can get.  See ['aughing AT you] vs. [laughing WITH you].

Quotey
Monday, August 16, 2004

You're not disrupting or ruining anything for me... I never said that you were.

OK, I'm really giving up now (on trying to talk to you with the benefit of the doubt, in contrast to the "muppet lynching" of others).

OffMyMeds
Monday, August 16, 2004

Oh, is THAT what you were doing?

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

+++In fact, you implied rather heavily that other posters' expectation with internet politeness was connected to the world of phonies you see in the corporate real world every day.+++

Here's where you prove that you missed my point.  Not surprising, given your apparent intelligence.  I did relate the phoniness on here to the phoniness I see in the corporate real world every day.  Calling it unnecessary in a forum environment like this, though not in exactly those words.  There's no inconsistency in my posting, only in your tapioca-filled head.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Just stand up and politely announce that you 'have to take a shit.'

If the cancerous contagion of your coworker's cantankerous commentary commences....

Sit back down.

Food for thought
Monday, August 16, 2004

I don't see how I'm disrupting this apparently very fragile community. I'm not going out of my way to provoke it. Of course I know that I've always got something to learn. You guys are amazing. It's sad when people can't seperate their professional defensive shells from their actual personality. I don't like dealing with people who make me uncomfortable, and so I don't. I do my best to politely ignore them.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Bravo.  It's amazing how you can assemble a bunch of stuff out of context and almost, ALMOST come up with a coherent 'muppet' post.  You should go back to your homophobic jokes, though, they suit you better.  You seem more comfortable with them.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

YHBT.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

"I don't like dealing with people who make me uncomfortable, and so I don't. I do my best to politely ignore them."

Huh?  Why then do you reply almost instantly to EVERY post directed at you?  Perhaps the internet provides an arena for you to pretend you have an actual pair of balls, enough to vent all your disdain that you don't have the courage to deal with like a mature person in real life.

Yeah, right.
Monday, August 16, 2004

Try, that wasn't my post, but rather a compilation of lines from several of my posts from somebody else.  Calm down, boy.

And yes you're right, I do tend to leave people be in real life.  So what?  I'm not compensating for it online, I'm simply able to be less restrained online.  Not because of any cowardice on my part, but because of the logistics of co-existing in a physical society.  It's the glory of the internet, baby.  Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

> I don't like dealing with people who make me uncomfortable,

> Why then do you reply almost instantly to EVERY post ...?

Answer:

You/we don't make him uncomfortable. No biggie.

Go muppet, go muppet, go muppet

eclectic_echidna
Monday, August 16, 2004

eclectic_echidna -

Thanks. Maybe I do go over-the-top too much?

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Yet another impersonation.  Woo woo.  Really, guy, what's the point?  If it's to get me to respond to it.. uhh.. congrats?  You could also get me to respond if you threw a brick through my window.  Kudos to you, sir.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Foaming sycophant is back.  Or... maybe it's my computer talking to me?! Damn demon computer!

I will no longer anthropomorphize my machine! Mark my word!

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Oops, I just wet myself.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Oops, I just slimed myself too.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Well, guys I have no idea why I would be a buzz kill. I think I am so cool that I know all of you do too.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Still another impersonation.  Another woo woo.  Really now, what's the point?  If it's to get me to respond to it...  I hope no one expect me to be intelligent.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

I think I'm going to write a muppet bot.

.
Monday, August 16, 2004

Thumbs up to a muppet bot! Anytime I post I will say someting inflammatory. Any post from me is fair game.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

How about muppet baiters that won't go away ...

My (fortunately receding) memory is of a boss who would come and talk about his aquarium fish until the noxious emanations from his nicotine habit had dissipated..

Should I start a thread about addicts' work habits and irregular verbs eg: "I network, you chat, he distracts" ?

trollop
Monday, August 16, 2004

No! I'm too cool to let this thread die! Respond! I provoked you!

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

I read somewhere that  'I get what I give'. I'm to dumb to understand it.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Draw a comic. I'd kill for material like this.

www.MarkTAW.com
Monday, August 16, 2004

Even better, record them and make flash cartoons. Somehow get them to sign releases.

www.MarkTAW.com
Monday, August 16, 2004

Bah, muppet's original post is entertaining and all.  But he posted about 30 times in this thread of (as of now 89) posts.  That is way too many for any one person.

To muppet:

please don't feel the need to reply to every! single! post! directed at you.  Starting with this one.


Pete

pds
Monday, August 16, 2004

actually, less than half the posts in this thread are mine.  But apparently a few people here are very dense.

muppet
Monday, August 16, 2004

Why does the post count go up, but there are no new posts?

www.MarkTAW.com
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Muppet,

I sympathize with you regarding your co-workers.  It is annoying as hell.  That's where it ends.

You are obvioulsy smart enough to be a great programmer (not sarcastic, I am taking you at your word).  Why not add to those book smarts and computer smarts and academic smarts with people smarts.

Read a book about psychology.  Talk to people.  Watch how others talk.  Start experimenting by saying different things to these annoying people and see what works best.

If you were truly as smart as you say you were you wouldn't have a problem with them.  You'd know how to handle them and of already remedied the situation.  If you were truly as smart as you think, you'd be CEO by now or have gotten yourself into a different situation (read: self-employment or contracting) where you didn't have to deal with people like that all the time.  Maybe you are just a self-mutalist or like self-pity?  I used to be like that.  Seriously.

You seem to be successful with women (in terms of sex and dating according to your posts).  Closing women and closing deals in the office are very much alike.  Handling women and handling co-workers to get what you need out fo the relationship are also very much alike.  Try applying like principles.

I have read over this post and it is in true honesty and I am truly trying to help.  I doubt there is anything in it you can flame and rebut (as opposed to actually discussing some of the issues).  So let's, for the (fantasy) life of god, keep it to the topic:

If you are so smart in other areas of your life, what makes you think you can't become a genious when dealing with people?  I believe you can.


Tuesday, August 17, 2004

---"Why does the post count go up, but there are no new posts? "-----

Because there was a post but it's been deleted.

Stephen Jones
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

> Both leech guy and lady who talks too much are just lonely at work.  Get those two together, away from your cube, and the problem is solved!

He'd be disturbed by sqelching noises, then.

> she was a hot blond, so I gave her some slack

If it was slack then I doubt that she appreciated it, Mr. Floppy.


Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Ah..... Karma....

Muppet gets what Muppet deserves.

Mr Jack
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Sounds like someone needs to buy some Viagra.

-
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Bravo everyone. All of you who have chastised, berated, and otherwise lectured muppet have truly made a difference in this world. Your time spent over-analyzing a comic web rant have made this world a better place. Your well considered arguments against this bit of online silliness have done a great deal to correct the wrongs in our society and move us towards the long sought after utopia of a perfect world.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I cannot say it enough. Thank you.

Without your biting critiques of this tongue-in-cheek comic dialog, it is unlikely that the rest of us brainless fools could have survived. Perhaps we would have taken everything muppet said seriously, or worse, we would have treated him as a role model. Truly, you have shown us the light.

OR maybe most of us are intelligent enough accept a funny rant about annoying co-workers, something everything has taken part in with friends on occasion, for what it is...a goofy internet post about a familiar problem for office workers everywhere.

Endroren
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Ah, it's the traditional 'better-than-thou' 'tard to round a thoroughly quality thread.

Bravo Endroren!

Your petty snideness in the name of the higher ground really lifts my spirits.

Mr Jack
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Actually he's got a pretty good point, you're just feeling like an ass.  Good ad hominem, though.

muppet
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Why is that every fucking idiot on the internet uses 'ad hominem' these days?

It wasn't an ad hominem attack, I was insulting him; nothing more. To be ad hominem, the argument has take to the form 'because of insult, you must be wrong'. As in, 'Muppet is a deliberately rude cunt who deserves every bad thing that happens to him so we can ignore his opinions'.

Mr Jack
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

No! I'm too cool to let this thread die! Respond! I provoked you!

muppet
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

And thank you Mr. Jack.

Um...except I never said I was better than anyone. I simply stated the foolishness, in my humble opinion (since I'm not better than anyone), that it is silly to work so hard putting down a comic web post.

It's like me writing a rant to Gary Larson (creator of the Far Side comicstrip) about his cruel attitude towards animals. It's a joke. Comedy. No names were mentioned. The whole thing could be made up for all we know.

So please, if you don't like the humor go somewhere else. Don't interrupt our laughs with a ridiculous attack on something that is clearly meant to be funny.

Endroren
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

I think ponies are pretty.

muppet
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Do they 'suit you, sir?'

Mr Jack
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Clip clop clip clop clip clop

Endroren
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

>Why is that every **** idiot on the internet uses 'ad hominem' these days?
A1: Because they can't remember the other logical fallacies. You know, strawman or slippery slope or ... oh who cares?
A2: Because they are responding to an idiot. Who was it that said something like "never get into a fight with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience?"
A3: Because the internet has devolved to the level of "I know you are, but what am I?" and "nyah! nyah! nyah! You're nothing but a poopy head anyway!"

As for the original poster, whichever muppet/muppet-wannabe that is this time, may I recommend some books on office politics, as well as books with a title like "never work for a jerk?"  I also work with a guy who talks so much that if you taped his mouth shut, his head would explode. I would like to lock him in a room with the lady I ride the bus with: she sees me walking around the corner and she starts talking.

One recommendation to escape the serial yakkers, if you can, and you can't get away with taping their mouth shut to watch their head explode, is to temporarily move your stuff into a conference room. Great if you can bundle up what you need to do your work in 1 armful of stuff. Was a great tactic when I worked at GM, and had to escape from the phb (and his 30+ hours of meetings per week, I managed to escape from about 10-ish hours per week of meetings and was twice as productive as anyone else in the dept).

Peter
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

"Just stand up and politely announce that you 'have to take a shit.'"

If you do follow this advice, first pick up the bin from their cubicle...

And leave packets of Imodium Plus around, while complaining bitterly it doesn't work very well...

Mr Jack
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Come on, muppet, don't girly out on us now.

Mr Jack
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Believe it or not, that was in some HR propaganda pamphlet... but it was a worded a good bit more PC and sans the bit about sitting back down.

Gastrointestinal Excuse
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

"Because there was a post but it's been deleted. "

Obviously, it's just that I saw it happen twice within a span of about 5 minutes that made it interesting to me.

www.MarkTAW.com
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Muppet,

I sympathize with you regarding your co-workers.  It is annoying as hell.  That's where it ends.

You are obvioulsy smart enough to be a great programmer (not sarcastic, I am taking you at your word).  Why not add to those book smarts and computer smarts and academic smarts with people smarts.

Read a book about psychology.  Talk to people.  Watch how others talk.  Start experimenting by saying different things to these annoying people and see what works best.

If you were truly as smart as you say you were you wouldn't have a problem with them.  You'd know how to handle them and of already remedied the situation.  If you were truly as smart as you think, you'd be CEO by now or have gotten yourself into a different situation (read: self-employment or contracting) where you didn't have to deal with people like that all the time.  Maybe you are just a self-mutalist or like self-pity?  I used to be like that.  Seriously.

You seem to be successful with women (in terms of sex and dating according to your posts).  Closing women and closing deals in the office are very much alike.  Handling women and handling co-workers to get what you need out fo the relationship are also very much alike.  Try applying like principles.

I have read over this post and it is in true honesty and I am truly trying to help.  I doubt there is anything in it you can flame and rebut (as opposed to actually discussing some of the issues).  So let's, for the (fantasy) life of god, keep it to the topic:

If you are so smart in other areas of your life, what makes you think you can't become a genious when dealing with people?  I believe you can.


Tuesday, August 17, 2004

muppet,

You got 113 posts replying to this post.

You are MISTER POPULARITY!  What're you gonna do with all these new friends and new found fame?

hoser
Wednesday, August 18, 2004

I'm going to Disney World!!

muppet
Wednesday, August 18, 2004

And eat lots and lots of salad cream!!

muppet
Wednesday, August 18, 2004

MUPPERT - KEEP IT UP.
THANKS.

yr #1 Fan
Thursday, August 19, 2004

Salad cream is evil, and must die.

Mr Jack
Thursday, August 19, 2004

I think Mrs. Big Mouth and Mr. I don't stop talking should get married?  Can you imagine their children?

Jon
Thursday, August 19, 2004

re LEECHMAN - did it ever occur to you NOT to say hello in the morning ?

just an idea ?
Friday, August 20, 2004

Brilliant idea .. ignore them!

Neo
Friday, August 20, 2004

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