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Too contentious around here

A CEO had a design project he needed completed - it was very challenging and would require some very complex thinking to accomplish.
Unwilling to compromise, he decided to call in several design teams to test them. He got teams from the US, Germany, and Japan. He explained the challenge to each team:
"You will each be locked in a design lab with two steel balls four feet in diameter. You have five days to dazzle me with your brilliance."
They each went to their design labs and locked themselves in.

...

After five days, the CEO went to each lab to see what the teams had to offer.
First, the German team - they had built a BMW and were test driving it around the lab.
Impressed, the CEO visited the Japanese team - they had created a supercomputer the size of a filing cabinet and apologized - they still needed a few days to finish calculating PI exactly, as the storage cluster seemed to keep filling up.

The CEO was astounded. He couldn't wait to see what his own countrymen had pulled off. But when he went into the American design lab, there was only one engineer at a terminal. He looked up and said "Oh, the rest of the team is on break, and we need two more steel balls - we broke one and  can't find the other. By the way, you should see how much porn I can get on that japanese supercomputer..."

[g,d,r]

Philo

Philo
Wednesday, June 16, 2004


e looked up and said "Oh, the rest of the team is outsourced to India."

A Dingo Ate My Baby
Wednesday, June 16, 2004

I can't wait for MD to come in and criticize this joke. He has after all been working with jokes since 1993.

Jorel on Software
Wednesday, June 16, 2004

If this were realistic, it would read...

After five days, the CEO went to each lab to see what the teams had to offer.
First, the German team - they were nowhere to be found.  Government mandated forty week vacations you see.  There were some Poles and some Ukrainians attempting to get some work done, but some German EU bureaucrats were busy insisting that the Eastern Europeans cease and desist all work immediately or forfeit their EU membership.

The CEO then visited the Japanese team - most had committed suicide, but some merely became alcoholics due to the stress of dishonoring their ancestors. 

The CEO couldn't wait to see what his own countrymen had pulled off. But when he went into the American design lab, the engineers were all gone, and in their place stood a team of 'Domain Experts' with MBAs.  They were making some headway with the voluminous specifications to be outsourced to India.

anon
Wednesday, June 16, 2004

  This reminds me a joke we have here in Brazil:

  It was a contest to see which was the most efficient police force of the world.  They dropped a rabbit in a florest, and the first team to bring the rabbit back would win the prize.

  First one was NYPD, and they took one hour to find the rabbit, which was very impressive.

  The second one was Scotland Yard, that took only 45 minutes to find the rabbit.  Amazing.

  The next one was Brazilian Police.  They took 3 DAYS, and finally came back with a very injuried pig.
 
    - This is not a rabbit! - said the judge.
    - I'm a rabbit!  I'm a rabbit!  - Said the pig.

Ricardo Antunes da Costa
Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Was that a torture joke?

If so, that's in very poor taste. You don't mind if I use that in my act do you?

Rob VH
Wednesday, June 16, 2004


  Yes it was.

  No I don't.

Ricardo Antunes da Costa
Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Jorel on Software:

Philo's a lot funnier than you.

Kneel Before Zod
Wednesday, June 16, 2004

>> They dropped a rabbit in a florest
> Was that a torture joke?

Well, that depends on the florist and where they dropped the rabbit - oh, forest. Never mind.

ApologiesInAdvance
Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Kind of like the punchline to "why did the pervert cross the road?"

MilesArcher
Wednesday, June 16, 2004

We need Philo on Software, I love it.

Berlin Brown
Wednesday, June 16, 2004

I'll bite.  Why *did* the pervert cross the road?

Grumpy Old-Timer
Thursday, June 17, 2004

Reminds me of the saying that if you left a solid steel ball 4 feet in diameter in a room with a sailor for a few days he would find a way to lose it, break it, eat it or f**k it.

Appleologist
Friday, June 18, 2004

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