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Language Stereotypes

That visual basic discussion a few topics down got me thinking.  What are the stereotypes of the languages we use, that get repeated way too often and mostly aren't true?  Please don't start a language flamewar, I just think its interesting to see the remarks people repeat about languages when they don't use them regularly.  I'll start off with a few:

Visual Basic:
* Written by non-programmers
* Not for enterprise applictations

Perl:
* Write-only language
* Can't be used for large-scale applications

Java:
* slow

Andrew Hurst
Friday, July 25, 2003

python:  toy language
C++: masochist language


Friday, July 25, 2003

C - only Unix weenies still use this

Alex
Friday, July 25, 2003

Lingo (Macromedia Director) "Not a REAL programming language"

HeyCoolAid!
Friday, July 25, 2003

C/C++ - good way to turn a 1-month project into a 12-month project full of memory leaks

J2EE - good way to turn a 50 KB project into 20 MB bloatware dependent on five other packages

Access - way to ensure data is not relational (due to user)

XSLT - way to multiply complexity and dependencies for even the simplest tasks, while purporting to simplify it. Great guarantee f employment longevity

Could go on
Friday, July 25, 2003

Access & Excel - strikes fear into the developer's heart when he hears "well, we have an Access database/Excel spreadsheet"...

Philo
Friday, July 25, 2003

C++ - The COBOL of the 90s (to paraphrase Unix Haters Handbook)

Mickey Petersen
Friday, July 25, 2003

I've also heard of Java refered to as the COBOL of the 00's.

anon
Friday, July 25, 2003

LISP - for the thinking man

tapiwa
Saturday, July 26, 2003

> Access & Excel - strikes fear into the developer's heart when he hears "well, we have an Access database/Excel spreadsheet"...


I shudder when I hear that. I built someone a database backed website recently from a prototype they built in Excel. First question after I finished : "Now how do I change the calculations in the PHP code like I can in Excel".

Matthew Lock
Saturday, July 26, 2003

Matthew, that sounds like a good question to me.  Did you spend some time with him talking about how he intended to use it before you started programming?  I was in a similar position once, but instead of telling the client to just edit a particular region of the code I made a (very small) language that the client could write formulas in and made configuration options where blocks of code in this language could be specified.

K
Sunday, July 27, 2003

Matthew,
Sounds like you fucked up the user requirements phase, and delivered an app that didn't meet the user's needs.  Ever worse, you took away functionality the user already had in your clusterfuck of a rewrite.  The user is not the problem, it's your (lack of) analysis skills.  It's people like you who give IT a bad name.  Have a nice day.

Bella
Sunday, July 27, 2003

C - A better C++

And from Verity Stob:

Visual Basic - Not just for stupid people.


I'm currently designing a new language called "Bella". The syntax is as yet incompletely defined: the rules so far are that each statement has to contain at least one term of abuse, and that the program must contain at least one statement pointing out how much cleverer, better-informed, and richer than everyone else its author is. The semantics are better defined, in that every well-formed Bella program equates to the null statement.

nurdge
Monday, July 28, 2003

C - a good language for writing C compilers in.

Johnny Moondog
Monday, July 28, 2003

The first Bella program:

devoid start_here_you_swine(devoid)
{
    volatile unbalanced int n;

    n = add_these_ferking_numbers(1, 2);
    display_this_you_vdu_scum(n);

    get_me_outa_here(STDFU);
}

Johnny Moondog
Monday, July 28, 2003

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