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Favorite Quote

Mine is:

There are 10 types of people in the world.  Those who understand binary and those who don't. - ??

I didn't get it at first until I spent 30 minutes learning about binary numbers and I saw that '0010' is 2 in binary :)

Anyone got another?  (geekier the better!)

Wayne
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." (Rich Cook)

Check out:

http://www.sysprog.net/quotes.html

ToastMaster
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

I figure this one is appropriate for JOS:

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
- Bertrand Russell

Heston Holtmann
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

"Life is hard.  Life is harder if you're stupid."

- John Wayne

Joe Paradise
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

- Every silver lining has a cloud.

- U.S. schools create sheeple. - John Kaminski

- Sure, the early bird gets the worm, but the *second* rat gets the cheese.

(for that matter, what does the early worm get?)

- In case you haven't realized it, building computer systems is hard. - Martin Fowler

Just a few gems ripped from my signatures list.

Mike Swieton
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

All models are wrong; Some are useful.

(Motion .NE. Progress), and (Change .NE. Improvement)

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as much as you please. -- Mark Twain.

Numbers provide insight to answers, and are not answers in themselves. -- US Army Logistics Management College

Plan? There ain't no plan! -- Pig Killer, Beyond Thunderdome

It is difficult to answer when one does not understand the question. -- Sarek of Vulcan.

Smith & Wesson ... the original "point and click" interface.

It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong -- Voltaire

A few from my favorite quotes/stories list.

anonQAguy
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

"I don't believe in God and he knows that!"

Full name
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

My favorite quote, originally from irc:

(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
(alec_eso): 1, morganj
(morganj): bastard.

Steven C.
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

(incidentally, the above quote is stolen from bash.org, to give credit where credit is due)

Steven C.
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

"And I say he is the Messiah, and I should know.  I've followed a few."

- John Cleese in "Life of Brian"

Mitch & Murray (from downtown)
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

For every complex problem, there exists a simple solution, which is wrong.

Corallary:  It isn't rocket science.  Well, unless of course your NASA.

Mike Gamerland
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

An old favorite of my boss:
Any idiot can tell you how to fix it, once you have. 
Unfortunately, they all show up after you fix it.

LookingForNewJob
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

Ack! The Grammar Nazi will find me.  Should have read:

Corallary:  It isn't rocket science.  Well, unless of course you're NASA.

Mike Gamerland
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

Xenocrates :

"I have often regretted my speech, never my silence."

Bertrand Russell :

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong."

"It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this."

"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."

"Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths."

--
ee

eclectic_echidna
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

Perhaps Aristotle was married in the same way that Elton John was married.  It would be nice to hear from either of the two Mrs. Aristotles.

J. D. Trollinger
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

I used to keep a collection of quotes extracted from USENET sigs.  They were, at least, mildly amusing but got lost during various ISP moves.  A couple that I recall:

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the preciptate."

"Proud member of MADD:  Mathemeticians Against Drunk Deriving."

And one related to software development:

"1,3,7- trimethylxanthine - an essential ingredient of quality software"

mackinac
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

The Zen philosopher Basho once wrote 'a flute without holes is not a flute and a donut with no hole is a danish.'

Tom Vu
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

"if cubicled - I QUIT!"

z
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

"The last 10% of any software project will take 90% of the budgeted time. The first 90% will take the other 90%"

Philo

Philo
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

remind me of a joke one of my co-workers told me.

Why did the programmer confuse Christmas and Halloween?

Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

www.marktaw.com
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.

- Blues Brothers

www.marktaw.com
Wednesday, May 21, 2003

Mike Gamerland: That quote is Henry Louis Mencken, I believe.

A few more:

The difference between losers and winners is that losers don't fail enough. - Ross Jeffries

There is no sin except stupidity. - Oscar Wilde

On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. - Charles Babbage (Seems appropriate for software dev board, heh)

I dislike people who talk too much. They usually say too little.

I think I'm out of quotes now.... most of my others aren't that great... I could sit here cutting and pasting `fortune` all night, but I think i'll try to go to bed. G'niterz, all.

Mike Swieton
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"The most successful method of programming is to begin a program as simply as possible, test it, and then add to the program until it performs the required job."
-- The PDP-8/e Small Computer Handbook (DEC, 1972) - Chapter 9, Page 9-64

"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret."
-- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet.

"A specification that cannot be fit on one 8.5 x 11 inch piece of paper cannot be understood."
-- Mark Andis

I've seen several variations, not sure what the original quote was...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."
"Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler."
"Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler."
"The solution to the problem should be as simple as possible...but no simpler."
"Keep things as simple as possible, but not too simple."
-- Albert Einstein

"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats."
-- Howard Aiken [1900-1973, mathematician who invented the Harvard Mark I, forerunner of the modern electronic digital computer, after completing his doctorate at Harvard University in 1939.]

"No amount of sophistication is going to allay the fact that all your knowledge is about the past and all your decisions are about the future."
-- Ian E. Wilson

"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"If the creator had a purpose in equipping us with a neck, he surely meant us to stick it out."
-- Arthur Koestler

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
-- Charles Schultz

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was."
-- unknown

"It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions."
-- unknown

Philip Dickerson
Thursday, May 22, 2003

You can do three things with a computer. You can try to make money and that is unlikely. You can try to become famous and that never happens. And you can have fun and that always works.

-- Chuck Moore, inventor of Forth

Dylan Adams
Thursday, May 22, 2003

Computers are high-speed idiots, programmed by low-speed idiots

Marcus
Thursday, May 22, 2003

Chinese Proverb:
"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials."

Publilius Syrus
"Learn to see in another's calamity the ills which you should avoid."

James A Garfield
"Be fit for more than the thing you are now doing. Let every on know that you have a reserve in yourself; that you have more power than you are now using. If you are not too large for the place you occupy, you are too small for it."

William Osler
"Shut out all of your past except that which will help you weather your tomorrows."

Claude Swanson
"When the water reaches the upper level, follow the rats."

Japanese Proverb
"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends."

Yugoslav Proverb
"If you wish to know what a man is, place him in authority."


Life of Pi, Yann Martel
"And so, in that Greek letter that looks like a shack with a corrugated tin roof, in that elusive, irrational number with which scientists try to understand the universe, I found refuge."

Prakash S
Thursday, May 22, 2003

Oh, kings, you owe your crown and writ
To law, not nature's dispensation;
While you stand high above the nation
The changeless law stands higher yet

- "Liberty," by Alexander Pushkin

Chi Lambda
Thursday, May 22, 2003

A couple of the one's i have in my sig file

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
    - Nathaniel Borenstein

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
    - Albert Einstein

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
      - Admiral Hyman Rickover (1900 - 1986)

ko
Thursday, May 22, 2003

This is a geek favourite of mine:

The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.

-- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers

Patrik
Thursday, May 22, 2003

A couple I bothered to hold on to:

Men are apt to mistake the strength of their feeling for the strength of their argument. The heated mind resents the chill touch and relentless scrutiny of logic.

  ~William E Gladstone~

"There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult."

    - C. A. R. Hoare

www.marktaw.com
Thursday, May 22, 2003

Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!"
Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."

Eivind
Thursday, May 22, 2003

The other famous Lady Astor versus Churchill confrontation was

Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd put arsenic in your tea."
Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Stephen Jones
Thursday, May 22, 2003

A few related to SW development:

A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. (John Gall)

It's OK to figure out murder mysteries, but you shouldn't need to figure out code. You should be able to read it. (Steve McConnell)

Working software is the primary measure of progress. (The Agile Manifesto)

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice
there is. (don't know where this is from)


And one unrelated to SW development, but funny:

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. (Unknown)

Henrik Warne
Thursday, May 22, 2003


Don't know who to attribute this to:

"An unplanned project takes twice as long to complete,
a well planned project takes three times as long."

Joe AA
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"People are no damned good." - Lex Luthor

"A ship's a fool to fight a fort." - Old saying of the Royal Navy

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten me into." - Oliver Hardy

Mark Newman
Thursday, May 22, 2003

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.
-- Sir Winston Churchill

Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that nobody had said it before him.
-- Mark Twain

To err is human, but to really screw things up you need a computer.
-- Anon

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.
--- Samuel Butler

Every oak tree was once a nut who stood its ground.
-- Anon

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will fin d a way around the laws.
-- Plato

Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters.
-- Daniel Webster (1782 - 1852)

Preach the Gospel at all times... If necessary use words.
-- St. Francis of Assissi

If you left it up to the public, there would be hardly any art. Certainly there would be no big art, such as the modernistic sculptures that infest many public parks. You almost never hear members of the public saying, Hey! Let's all voluntarily chip in and pay a sculptor upwards of $100,000 to fill this park space with what appears to be the rusted remains of a helicopter crash! It takes concerted government action to erect one of those babies.
-- Dave Barry

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-- Mark Twain

He who would live, must fight. He who will not fight, in this world, where eternal struggle is the law of life, has not the right to exist.
-- Anon

just a small selection from http://www.tapiwa.com/quote

tapiwa
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"There are 3 types of people in the world, those that are good at math and those that aren't"  -- Unknown


2 Bumper Stickers:
"Proud member of DAMM - Drunks Against Mad Mothers"
"Proud memeber of PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals"

"Let your mind go and your body will follow"
          -L.A. Story

apw
Thursday, May 22, 2003

Intelligence consists of seeing differences where others see only sameness, and seeing sameness where others see only differences.

Computers let you make more mistakes than any other invention in history....with the possible exception of handguns and tequila.

Diagnostic message from Apple's MPW C compiler: "Too many errors on one line (make fewer)".

Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened

There are sacraments of evil as well as of good about us, and we live and move in an unknown world, a place where there are shadows and dwellers in twilight

When you come to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, one of two things will happen: Either you'll be given something solid to stand on or you'll be taught how to fly.

Regards,

Mark
---
Author of "Comprehensive VB .NET Debugging"
http://www.apress.com/book/bookDisplay.html?bID=128

Mark Pearce
Thursday, May 22, 2003

I've always liked, "woo the muse of the odd" - don't know the original source, only that I read it in an article by Bruce Sterling in Whole Earth Review a long time ago.

Also, in a recent discussion at my old university, a motto (or possibly a mission statement) suggested for a more than usually incompetent part of the bureaucracy was, "if it is not too difficult, we will try to do it quite quickly", which I thought could be applied much more widely (see the full article at http://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/~rja14/ccf/korner.html - probably not so funny unless you know the background).

Okay, one classic, "There is no silver bullet" - Brooks

Matt
Thursday, May 22, 2003

No quotes to offer - most of my favourites have already been posted. However, I suggest anyone interested in such pleasant diversions, or those looking to update sig files have a look at The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce.

I prefer my print copy, but you can find it online using google - the devil's dictionary.

The online ones tend to be abridged, more's the pity. Written over 100 years ago, it's out of copyright, hence no references to debugging .Net.

Justin
Thursday, May 22, 2003

'The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.'
Nathaniel Borenstein

Jan Oosting
Thursday, May 22, 2003

This was fun. Here are mine:

90% of life is showing up. - Woody Allen

Torture your data long enough and it will confess to anything.
- a statistician acquaintance of mine

Lauren B.
Thursday, May 22, 2003

fun fun fun. Just two I came across lately, one was found here (or was it on dpreview?) and the other in an article referenced from here:

"The light at the end of the tunnel has been shut off until further notice"

and

"Picking the wrong Goliath could be suicidal"

Dimitri.
Thursday, May 22, 2003

A couple of geeky ones:-

"Two things have come out of Berkley, Unix and Acid, we do not belive this to be a coincidence"

"Just as mystics of old wore hair shirts and lived in caves to prove their devotion to god, so you are free to use windows"

Not sure of the source but I belive they're both from the same person.

And a truism ripped from a discussion on http://www.kuro5hin.org that makes up my current sig:-

"Where you stand depends on where you sit"


And finally a political point from (iirc) Archbishop Carrera:-

"When I give food to the poor they call me a saint, when I ask why the poor are hungry they call me a communist"

bil
Thursday, May 22, 2003

The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be lit. - Plutarch

Bruce Perry
Thursday, May 22, 2003

I didn't see this one:

Technology is dominated by two types of people:  those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand. - Unknown

shiggins_dev
Thursday, May 22, 2003

90% of anyting is crap.

Spaghetti Rustler
Thursday, May 22, 2003

84.3% of statistics are made up on the spot.

Ged Byrne
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home"

        -- Ken Olson, President, Digital Equipment, 1977

rover
Thursday, May 22, 2003

There's no fool like an old fool -- you can't beat experience. --Jacob Braude

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. -- Doug Larson


It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenius. --Edsel Murphy

If it's noisy, it's electric
If it rusts, it's mechanic
If you don't understand why it doesn't work, it's digital

jcm
Thursday, May 22, 2003

This one is going to take a little background. Toward the end of the nineteenth century, most scientists thought that the fundamentals of the universe were pretty well understood, and all there was left for scientists to do was fill in the details. Lord Kelvin was quoted as saying:

"There are only two major problems left for science to solve; one is the ultraviolet catastrophe, the other is the movement of the Earth through the luminiferous ether".

How right he was. Solving the first gave rise to Quantum Mechanics, the second Relativity.

David Clayworth
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"Some idealistic youngsters may imagine a totally uncensored world as one in which the free exchange of intelligent ideas raises everyone's IQ, an idealized Oxford Debate Society or Speakers' Corner. I am pragmatic and understand that a totally uncensored world just looks like your inbox: 80% spam, advertising, and fraud, rapidly driving away the few interesting people." -- Joel Spolsky

Just me (Sir to you)
Thursday, May 22, 2003

The first day of my first class at SUNY at Buffalo.
We walked in to see this on the blackboard

"Time Passes, Will You?"

apw
Thursday, May 22, 2003

On the statement print "42 monkeys"+"1 snake") BTW, both Perl and Python get this wrong. Perl gives 43 and Python gives "42 monkeys1 snake", when the answer is clearly "41 monkeys and 1 fat snake".

Jim Fulton, 10 Aug 1999

Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.
Barry Switzer

If mankind minus one were of one opinion, then mankind is no more justified in silencing the one than the one - if he had the power - would be justified in silencing mankind.
John Stuart Mill (1806 - 1873)

One-Armed Bandit
Thursday, May 22, 2003

My favorite is "Programming is the process of converting caffeine into error messages" (not sure of the source, seen on Ward's Wiki)

I think Yogi Berra is responsible for "In theory, practice and theory are the same. In practice they aren't."

Keith Wright
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"The IQ is constant on the Earth. Population grows"

...
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"Nothing. I want nothing" - Hunter S. Thompson

Ian Stallings
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"If you can't fuck it, and it doesn't dance, you'd better eat it or throw it away."
  -- Pat Cadigan

Words to live by. :-)

Tim Sullivan
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"The only problem with Microsoft is they just have no taste, they have absolutely no taste, and what that means is - I don't mean that in a small way I mean that in a big way."

- Steve Jobs

UI Designer
Thursday, May 22, 2003

Regarding the Ken Olson quote, "There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home," he was absolutely right.  He was referring to computers of that time.

Brent P. Newhall
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"All software is crap, some just smells worse than others" - Phil Usher

fool for python
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"You can make something foolproof, but you can't make it damn foolproof" -Quote from a senior enlisted person in the US Navy.

"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"  Albert Einstien

A Software Build Guy
Thursday, May 22, 2003

From tonight's repeat episode of Friends, Monica's getting criticized for dating her ex boyfriend's son. Here's her comeback, directed at each other person inturn:

"Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, livin’ in a box!!"

I love this line, it totally cuts everyone down to size and reminds me that we all have our own personal neurosis.

I think it ranks up there with the Blues Brothers quote.

The episode's script is here if you need context:

http://www.geocities.com/theonewithfriendsuk/Scripts/Season_4/408box.htm

www.marktaw.com
Thursday, May 22, 2003

"There are no shortcuts in life, unless you right click...."


One girl in 10th Standard told me this! :)
Regards,
JD

JD
Friday, May 23, 2003


Life is what's happening while we make other plans. 
    - John Lennon

This is the girl.
      - From "Mulholland Drive"

Overworked and underpaid, oversexed and underfucked.
    - Bernhard Ludwig's advice on how to organize your own heart attack

- Roland
Friday, May 23, 2003

"Too fucking busy, and vice versa." - Dorothy Parker

www.marktaw.com
Friday, May 23, 2003

Men have become the tools of their tools.
Henry David Thoreau

jon
Friday, May 23, 2003

I'm gonna call a couple of hard, pipe-hittin' niggers to go to work on the homies here with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn site. I'm gonna git medieval on your ass!
-- Marsellus in Pulp Fiction

tapiwa
Friday, May 23, 2003

'In all our searching, the only thing that makes the emptiness bearable is each other'  ~Carl Sagan

B#
Friday, May 23, 2003

a sig I saw on slashdot - "if pacman had affected us, we would all be in darkened rooms, listening to electronic music and munching on pills". 

Rahoul Baruah
Friday, May 23, 2003

One of my favorite websites is Wordplayer, created by Ted Elliot (co-writer of SHREK, MASK OF ZORRO and PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN).  He has a column "Deep Thoughts" http://www.wordplayer.com/columns/wp29.Deep.Thoughts.html which includes a list of aphorisms he's written.  Some of my faves:

“It is nearly a universal quality of human beings to be able to recognize the Truth -- and that's Truth with a capital 'T' -- nearly always when it is presented to them. Yet it is a rare quality to be able to define the Truth, and to make those presentations.”

“You don't need to find a perfect person to experience a perfect love.”

“My lousy way of getting it done is better than your great way of not doing it.”

“There has never been an example of a picture of a squirrel that was in the least bit interesting. This will not stop people from continuing to take pictures of squirrels.”

“Human beings are compelled to adopt a belief system; some paradigm to provide meaning, purpose, and understanding to our lives. A quick survey of the world shows that pretty much any idea will do -- it need not reflect reality or truth, merely function to fascinate, distract, and compel. We are designed for belief, not for truth.”

“We need two words to replace the word 'want.' One word for when you just want something, and another for when you want something strong enough to change in order to get it.”

"I can't" is how a child says, "I decided to quit."

“I understand the parameters you've laid out for the answer you expect, but they don't match the reality of the situation, and actually preclude the correct response you pretend to seek.”

“Hollywood films are shaped not by the hierarchy of talent, but by the hierarchy of power.”

“Some problems have clear answers and succumb to direct action. Others are solved only by embracing a process, and trusting to time, chance, and change to bring about the solution.”

Contrary Mary
Friday, May 23, 2003

"Are you really crazy, or are you as good as you say you are?"

schmoe
Friday, May 23, 2003

"No,that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that."

  - Slartibartfast, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

www.marktaw.com
Friday, May 23, 2003

"I believe that if I ever had to practice cannibalism, I might manage if there were enough tarragon around." - James Beard

"I conclude that there are two ways of constructing a software design: One is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies." - C.A.R. Hoare

I've got a couple other good ones specific to software, but they're not handy.

Steve Wheeler
Friday, May 23, 2003

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen, politicians, and divines." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Keith Moore
Saturday, May 24, 2003

And one more that I love (but not geeky):

When your child falls and scrapes a knee, you pick him up, dust him off, and tell him he's going to be okay... and you mean it. You believe it. No matter how much blood there is, no matter how many stitches it takes, he's going to make it through *everything*. You're keeping him alive, and in a peculiar way, he's doing the same for you... preserving in the life he leads the spirit of your love and guidance.

When your father falls and hurts his hip, you help him up, steady him, and tell him he's going to be okay... but deep inside, you know "okay" has become a finite state of being. "Okay" has become a conspiratorial wink between two wanderers who've seen the map of the road ahead... and that fork around the bend is going to be a bitch.

Regards,

Mark
---
Author of "Comprehensive VB .NET Debugging"
http://www.apress.com/book/bookDisplay.html?bID=128

Mark Pearce
Saturday, May 24, 2003

Some of my favorites:

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
It takes wisdom to be confused.
Cats know what we feel. They don't care, but they know.
The best things in life aren't things.
If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, what does an empty desk signify?
If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, what does it mean when I can't find my desk?
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
If you save the world too often, it begins to expect it.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Don't let yourself suffer needlessly. Find a need to suffer.
Eschew obfuscation.
I can't promise that I'll try, but I'll try to try.
I don't suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it.
Procrastination is the mother of invention.
The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
Your focus determines your reality.
The adverb is dying, slow but sure.
The floggings will continue until morale improves.
What doesn't kill you only postpones the inevitable.
When all else fails, lower your standards.
I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. --FDR

And my absolute favorite:

I'd enjoy the day more if it started later.

Martha
Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Price, Quality and Schedule.  Pick any two.

Ydna
Wednesday, May 28, 2003

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
- Pablo Picasso

"Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it."
- Rudnicki's Nobel Prize Principle

"If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it."
- Slous

"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."
- Olivier

"If you cannot convince them, confuse them."
-Harry S. Truman

"It is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail."
- Abraham Maslow

"Escalators are never out of order. They're just temporarily stairs."
- Mitch Hedberg

"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence."
- Carl Sagan

It takes a woman nine months to bear a child. Nine women cannot bear a child in one month.

and finally

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Ydna
Wednesday, May 28, 2003

"What good is a 64-bit operating system, a 64-bit database when used by a 2-bit company?" -unknown

Nazzdeq
Monday, June 02, 2003

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