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Based on a true story: Control See, Control We

Wanna hear a story? Fake names, real story.

Cast
======
Drinks Unlimited, DU for short, the client (Indian company)
Fright Brothers, the vendor (Indian company)
Muir, the client (DU) representative in-charge of IT projects. Let's call him Miki for short supposing it was his petname
Victor, Vic for short, a Project Lead at Fright Brothers
Samuel, Sammy for short, a Project Manager at Fright Brothers
Saturnino, Sat for short, a Senior Project Lead at Fright Brothers, a rank below the Project Manager, an extremely confusing incumbent
Vincent, the Vice President, Fright Brothers


One sunny day, in the month of June, when the year was 2003, the two companies signed a pact. Wine was unbottled and sweet meats were devoured. Drinks Unlimited (DU) called upon Fright Brothers (FB) to study their Inventory management (subject changed to further covet the real characters) and deliver an automated solution.

The young Miki, who was a newly appointed incharge of IT projects at DU had just won a series of bike race tournaments in the country at the national level. He applied his agile sensibilities to all that he did, and never liked lazy people. FB, out to establish a conspicious unanimity of ideologies with the young, ambitious client, signed in for the deal to be completed in, O yea can you believe, 1 month. If I were to be more precise, the project was to take a bare 25 calender days. History, the world thought, was going to be created here, within these very corridoors. Miki was so happy. He slumbered many a nights of bliss, smiling in his dreams. Victor, a vintage product of Fright Brothers was handed over charge. Vic was the one, if I must apprise you, to jump for the lucky figure 25. He was so confident as you should have already begun imagining. And his confidence was not just gross and worldly, I guess it was divine. His valour emenated from some spiritual energy he radiated for it had no logical basis of reason. He believed he could do the project in 25 straight days even though he knew that he knew not how to code. That he knew he knew not, I am guessing. I would never know. Vic had survived in the mill for four years now, without writing more than four lines of code during then. What a brave man he was. He could sit in front of the IDE with loads of historical code legacy and erase pure white spaces and straightly drawn new lines that he had created just seconds ago. He could do this with such dexterity that you'd believe he was *actually* typing so much code in seconds. People just heard the rythm in his fingers and fainted in adulation. Only some did get the previlige to see him drawing and erasing the spaces as white as milk.

Vic stuck bums with him chum, Samuel, whom he so often addressed as Sammy. Sammy, the Project Manager had shared his tenure with Vic at the company. They were so known to each other, and shared their talents alike. But then Sammy was senior, so he was even greater and you'd have guessed, more talented. He possessed talents you'd never dare to dream of. He could write pages after pages without using the alphanumeric keys on the keyboard. He most often used the "Control See, Control We" methodology of drafting proposals.

June passed, so did July. When August came, Vic had added a myriad of newlines. September was spent erasing them. The God of creation and destruction had blessed Vic with indescribable virility. He went on, while Miki waited, cutting razor sharp new lines and immediately obliterating them with his knife like sharp backspace assaults.
==============================================


I am tired just now. I've got asses to save. Will continue in sometime may be.

Sathyaish Chakravarthy
Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Does anybody remember those auto-generated AI messages that used to float around usenet?

Dan Brown
Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Are you working for a company in India? If so, it's good to see you spending your time on a pointless, rambling story rather than trying to steal my job.

Keep up the good work!

Raul"The Sabre" Gonzalez
Tuesday, March 02, 2004

>sweet meats were devoured

Guess this is what one writes after devoring "sweet meats" whatever the heck that is. 

Do they pay you by word count of your posting? Make sense my man...not nonsense

Code Monkey
Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Vic stuck bums with him chum...

Is this a homosexual reference? Or does it have something to do with tobacco?

pdq
Tuesday, March 02, 2004

>Keep up the good work!

O thanks [blush]! You bet I will.


>sweet meats

That should've been sweetmeats. A confection common in India, characterized by ingredients such as milk-cream, sugar and dry fruits.

>Vic stuck bums with him chum...

That was a rather liberal dissociation of the compound nouns in bum-chum. They were pally with each other. Old time pals.

Sathyaish Chakravarthy
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

BTW, thanks for the wonderful reception.

Sathyaish Chakravarthy
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Sathyaish,

Dont worry about the wankers,  your post had a charm to it.

I imagined you leaning back at the end of a hard day with a glass of wine contemplating how crazy the world can be :)  (as we all do).

Is there room in India for a comedy movie about a crazy IT project adventure going wrong ? 

Braid_ged.

braid_ged
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Braid, you're my favourite guy. :-)

Sathyaish Chakravarthy
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Hey, I liked it too. I want some kudos.

Joel Goodwin
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Thou art the best amoung all men, Goodwin!

Sathyaish Chakravarthy
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

I'll third it, I am rather fond of Sathyaish's fiction based on reality contributions. So are we going to find out what happens? Does he keep typing spaces and erasing them forever? This is a real guy? And you say that he really believes he can finish the project in 25 days even though he doesn't know how to program? This is a very mysterious situation.

Dennis Atkins
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Ripples of joy surface through my being. Gee! Smiley, smiley.

One of my friends told me, "Humor is often used to deflect the pain and sadness associated with a loss". Yeah, that was just the start of a real story and I'll be glad to share it with all of you this way.

Denis, let no man's, living or dead, match thy fame. :-P

Sathyaish Chakravarthy
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

'm extemely sorry for having misspelt your name, Dennis.

Sathyaish Chakravarthy
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

I am assuming this story isn't over yet, right?
Let me see if I get the plot: 2 cluelless managers, one client who is a pal with one of them and one very tight deadline.

What happens next?

RP
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Man, you scare me. Do we know each other?

Sathyaish Chakravarthy
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

An Inidan called Samual? You have to be putting me on.


Wednesday, March 03, 2004

> What happens next?

My guess is that the engineers all worked 48 hour days and then got canned because the project wasn't done on time.


Wednesday, March 03, 2004

>My guess is that the engineers all worked 48 hour days and then got canned because the project wasn't done on time.

No! That'd be so cliche'd that I wouldn't invest creative enzymes in describing my dull situation if it were that. This is kinda twisted, kinda interesting, kinda snafued. I'll go home now and when it is night, in the silence of the bedtime hour, I'd continue with it. Then I'll post it tomorrow.

Sathyaish Chakravarthy
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

<sound of long, gurgling bong hit>
Makes...sense.... to......me.......
<exhale>

Spiccoli
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

----"An Inidan called Samual? You have to be putting me on."-----

Why? Plenty of Indians called Samuel; the Christians are well-represented in the professions in India - particulary teaching, journalism and IT.

Do remember that the Indian Church was almost certainly founded in the first century AD, probably by St. James himself if I remember right!

Stephen Jones
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

BAH!  This the most interesting post to come in some time!  And I was waiting for the chapter 2 installment, and you guys dirtied up the thread with all that blather.

I wait anxiously, with baited breath (phew), for chapter 2!

hoser
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Have you read Microserfs by Copeland?

pdq
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Hoser baited his breath to write:

>I wait anxiously, with baited breath (phew), for chapter 2!

Yeah I am too as this guy works his way down his newly bought thesaurus with more gems like " His valour emenated from some spiritual energy he radiated for it had no logical basis of reason"...must be of those "manager" types in charge of "shifting paradigms" :-)

I only hope that he is not the guy in charge of project documentation or else we will see sentences like "please emenate the return keystroke from the bodily energy of your hand after  you are done devouring the sweet meats"

Code Monkey
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Not James but Thomas pioneered the church in india.

Dennis Atkins
Thursday, March 04, 2004

> Please emenate the return keystroke from the bodily energy of your hand after you are done devouring the sweet meats

Oooh! I'd pay to see that!

Dennis Atkins
Thursday, March 04, 2004

Dennis, thanks for the clarification. You're a gem. I wasn't sure but it was late and I had my guard down and failed to check. Truly humbled.

Thanks again!

Stephen Jones
Thursday, March 04, 2004

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