The Old Joel on Software Forum

Get it?

Tangential to programming but:

Girl (or guy for that matter) walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave her one.

I've told this joke to 25 people and the only ones to get it, both of them, were programmers. Wazzup?

B#
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Incidently, I have an agreement with my wife that if the next person I tell it to doesn't get it, I will never be allowed regale again... tread lightly please!

B#
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

That's about as funny as buying a VW Beetle and getting a license plate that says "Feature"

flamebait sr.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Got it. Regale away.

fungi
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

The most popular source of double entendre "humour", as far as I know, is Beavis and Butthead.

Draw your own conclusions?

Slippy
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Don't you think it would be a little more funny if you said "so he gave it to her"? :)

(I found it humorous enough to try on some others...)

Brad (dotnetguy.techieswithcats.com)
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Rolling out my favorite obscure bartender joke...

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Hey, aren't you the guy that owes me twenty bucks?"
Descartes says "I think not" and vanishes.
Philo

Philo
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

A guy walks into a bar. Ouch!

runtime
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Philo

It's now int he repertoire, such as it is.

B#
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Thank you, Philo, for helping me get some use out of my philosophy courses! ;)

Wayne Venables
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Brad

I think you're right!

B#
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Nice one Philo. :)

aa
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Reminds me of the one I used to tell the kids when I taught computer science in a summer program.

Q: Why did the computer programmer die in the shower?

A: Because he followed the instructions on the shampoo bottle!

Get it?

Will
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Lather, rinse, repeat?

Guy Incognito
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

exactly.

Will
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

(or as I would tell the kids-- no exit condition).

Will
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

The shampoo joke reminds me of a friend of mine who thought that the instructions on a bottle of pills - "Take three at once and then one four times daily" - meant that she was supposed to take sixteen pills a day.

Andrew Simmons
Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Armadillo walks into a bar.
Bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

LMAO!! That one always cracks me up!!! Come on, no one else thinks that's funny!?

Now to figure out what that has to with software.

Immature programmer
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Heh, I was about to post "Horse walks into a bar, bartender says 'why the long face'?"

I get it!

Gets it
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Funniest joke EVER.

Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the concrete wall?

A. Dam.

It was funny when I was ten, and it's still funny.

Spam
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Currently running in a beer commercial:

Two nuns, a rabbi, a dwarf, and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender says "what is this, some kind of joke?"

Philo

Philo
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Two parrots sitting on a perch. Once says to the other: "Do you smell fish?"

Tom Payne
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Two eggs in a frying pan. One says to the other: "is it hot in here?" The other one says "Argh! talking egg!"

Tom Payne
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

A white horse walks into a bar, asks for a pint. The barman says "We've got a whisky named after you".

"What, Eric?" replies the horse.

treefrog
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

A skeleton walks into a bar, says "I'll have a beer ... and a mop."

mofo
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Q How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A One. He gets six Californians to do it, thereby reducing this to a joke with a known punch line.

Colin MacDonald
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

A: It was dead.

runtime
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Two cannibals are sitting on their lunch break eating clown sandwiches. One turns to the other with a grimmace and says "Does this taste funny to you?"

cheeto
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.

One-Armed Bandit
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Um . . I don't get it. Could someone explain?

Pardon my French
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

My 7 year old daughter, apparently an existentailist, told me this one:

What's gray and not there?

No elephants

B#
Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Q. Why weren't the Romans good C programmers?
A. Because they had no way to return zero.

John Topley
Thursday, March 27, 2003

You didn't get it because it makes no sense.

A double entendre is something along the lines of "your wood must be beaten". That's 'funny' because it could mean 'wood' as in dead trees or 'wood' as in penis.

I think you're supposed to assume that there exists a drink called a double entendre, which those of us who spent any time away from the lab in college realize doesn't exist. Then you're supposed to assume that a double entendre is a sex act of some sort (not entirely true, but most people refer to a double entendre as involving something sexual).

Really, I'd be more concerned about the programmers who "Got it" than the other people that didn't.

big bob
Thursday, March 27, 2003

I find it hard to believe that people don't understand that joke and have to deconstruct it. Admittedly it does rely on knowing what a double entendre is.

The fact that it's a bar and a bartender is irrelevant. It's only that because many jokes start that way.

John Topley
Thursday, March 27, 2003

Hey, we're programmers. We don't get anything that isn't logical. Like spock, ya know?

Thursday, March 27, 2003

Little Bob

Orgasm, Long Comfotable Screw against the back wall... Not drinks right? Not double entendres when ordered in a bar!

Waitperson: What can I get you?
Customer": I would be just delighted if you would give me a LCSATBW followed by an orgasm.

Holy Crap!

A double entendre is also very much like your name. So why don't you!

B#
Thursday, March 27, 2003

Still...

entendre is "to mean" in french, IIRC.

So either she asked for a :
1. double "entendre" or a
2. "double entendre"

and that's supposed to be where the joke is.

Problem is, it's nonsense to say #1.

Thursday, March 27, 2003

Judas H. Priest on a popsicle stick! My wife was right!

B#
Thursday, March 27, 2003

Wow B#,

resorting to mocking my nickname and getting defensive because I said you're joke made no sense.

Now those drinks, those are funny double entendres.

big bob
Thursday, March 27, 2003

<sigh>

B#
Thursday, March 27, 2003

Ok, so explain it to me. Enlighten me.

big bob
Thursday, March 27, 2003

This illustrates the point better than I ever could.

I vow, just like using finger quotes, never to utter that joke again.

Off like a prom dress...

B#
Thursday, March 27, 2003

She wanted a 'double', she got 'one'.

At least I _think_ that's what it's supposed to mean.

maybe I don't get it either...
Thursday, March 27, 2003

BIG Bob

Sorry for ad hominem... too long on the off ramp!

B#
Thursday, March 27, 2003

maybe

I'm a masochist, clearly.

She got one but which ONE!

B#
Thursday, March 27, 2003

Two guys in a bar

Guy #1: How ya makin' out with that girl?
Guy #2: Oh, I'll talk it into her!

No question, I have humour deficits and may well be profoundly comically impaired

B#
Thursday, March 27, 2003

I am going to have to ask for a judges ruling... Joel?

B#
Thursday, March 27, 2003

One more bar joke,

A neutron walks into a bar and has a few beers. When he's ready to leave he asks the bartender how much he owes. The bartender says, "For you? No Charge."

Patrik
Thursday, March 27, 2003

B# are you British? The joke might not travel that well as it all hinges on "give her one" which might only make sense if you were brought up on "Carry On" films.

"Marks out of two? From one ogling male to another, to cue the reply “I’d give her one”." http://www.viz.co.uk/profanisaurus/propagesA_Z/page_m.htm

(forget Monty Python, much of the British sense of humour really hinges around lewdness and double entendre. Any League of Gentlemen Fans here?)

Duncan Smart
Thursday, March 27, 2003

Patrik

<g>

Duncan

That never occured to me... certainly would explain it and no, not British.

Nothing worse than watching a fat man weep!

B#
Thursday, March 27, 2003

The follow up to the horse (armadillo) joke:

A polar bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "I'll have a..........................beer."

The bartender says, "Why the big pause?"

(Hmmm...there's a real problem with written homonym jokes.)

Dunno Wair
Friday, March 28, 2003

I see! Looked up "one" in dictionary reference above. Never heard of this before. Is this non-American slang, or am I just profanely ignorant?

one n. A non-specific unit of sex “given” to a woman by a man. See also portion.

Now, that's funny.

Knowing this and re-reading the previous discussions is even funnier. Great example of miscommunication in action.

let's just stay anonymous on this one
Friday, March 28, 2003

LJSAOTO

I wouldn't be overly concerned. Here in Canader no one gets it either... that was the point.

B#
Saturday, March 29, 2003

LJSAOTO?

let's just stay anonymous on this one
Saturday, March 29, 2003

never mind.

let's just stay anonymous on this one
Saturday, March 29, 2003

Try this one.
Hours of entertainment guaranteed!

http://www.brunching.com/cgi/barjoke.cgi

Ergonomic Creature
Friday, April 04, 2003

"I've told this joke to 25 people and the only ones to get it, both of them, were programmers. Wazzup?"

They probably didn't get it because it is not funny. harhar. A programmer you work with knows that you like to talk about "cool tricks" so they will acknowledge that they get it.

Brian R.
Monday, April 14, 2003